A spoiler-ridden holiday "key-party" featuring SALTBURN!
We made it to the end of 2023. And OH what a year it has been. Has it been as exciting and riveting as the completely unidentifiable nor unique 2000's? Probably not.
In a sudden twist, as part of our annual "Christmas Key Party" (lol jks, kinda) we wined, dined, and we seduced Tighe and Renée into watching the newly released SALTBURN, written and directed by Emerald Fennell. The real twist is that we rarely cover new movies but this is something special. Without going in to too much detail, this might be one of the best moments in any film we've uncovered on this podcast.
Seriously guys, if you haven't seen the film, watch it please. Don't ruin it for yourselves listening to us blabber on about it. You have no excuse as the movie is available on Amazon Prime as of today (December 22, 2023) so it's free to subscribers.
Expect SPOILERS AHOY in this special festive and bumper final episode of 2023! Happy Holidays and many thanks to our listeners for sticking us out this long! See you in the New Year ya filthy animals!
Full Frontal Festivities: A Saltburn Key Party
Laura: Well, hello there. Welcome to On the BiTTE, the podcast that uncovers full frontal male nudity in cinema. My name is Laura, and I gotta tell you guys, we are here for a Christmas key party with our friends. We've got Ryan, I read, didn't sign.
Ryan: Up for the key party.
Laura: You did when you agreed to be on this podcast. We have ty, also not signed up.
Tighe: For the key party.
Laura: That's unfortunate.
Renee: And Renee, I'm here, and I didn't know it was a key party, but I'm glad to be here.
Laura: Wonderful. I'm glad that we're all mostly consenting adults here to speak about the new movie, which we don't do very often.
Ryan: Because we don't do this often.
Laura: No, I'll categorize anything as a holiday film as long as there's a tree in it. Uh, the 2023 black comedy psychological thriller Saltburn, which the director, Emerald Fennell, calls a gothic romance.
Ryan: All right. Okay.
Laura: Yeah, I like it. Uh, this has a lot of people in it. So we've got Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, Rosamund Pike, Richard E. Grant, Alison Oliver, Archie Maddiquay. Did I say that right?
Renee: I think so.
Tighe: Sure.
Laura: Carrie Mulligan, also, um, I'm glad I didn't say it. And, uh, directed by Emerald Fennel. Um, we all went and saw this today together.
Ryan: We did. You guys had seen it before, though. I hadn't seen it before.
Renee: We saw it one week ago.
Laura: Was it really just a week ago?
Tighe: Yeah.
Laura: It's been too long since I've seen it. I watch it every day.
Ryan: We all went to go see it, and we all brought our notepads, and we all tried to write notes in.
Renee: The dark because you can't take notes in your cell phone and in the movie theater, because then that will be mean.
Ryan: They all look like the notes from John Doe's notebooks in.
Tighe: Yeah, exactly.
Laura: We will take photos and post them, at least a shot of each of our notebooks. That look insane.
Tighe: Yeah, it's pretty nuts.
Ryan: There's one commonality, though, and they all say Harry Potter on them. And I'm not too sure if John Doe had that in any of his notebooks.
Laura: That is true. That is true.
Tighe: I'd have to check the dates on that if they were even out yet. Or one was out yet.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Ryan: In 2000, 2006. I would have thought so, yeah.
Laura: Or 2007. It would have been 2007 books. The Harry Potter books. Yeah, if they were out in 2007.
Tighe: No, wait. The movie you're talking about, seven, was way was like 1998. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think the first Harry Potter was, like, 97 or 98. Like, I'm curious. We're through the looking glass on this shit. This does not matter. I was just.
Renee: I don't even know what we're talking about.
Tighe: It wouldn't have been even plural books, I think, anyway.
Laura: The character in seven would have written about Harry Potter in his notes.
Tighe: Because the first book, I think, came out in 96 or 97. I'm pretty sure it's 97.
Ryan: We also believe that cell phones are like. So he was also into some, um, wacky shit. I mean, to be honest, me going and saying that Harry Potter might be in John Doe's book, I love this. This is a cinematic universe is not a gigantic stretch, seeing as he did murder seven. Well, he murdered six people in that movie. Spoiler alert.
Tighe: Uh, laura, what do you got?
Laura: Harry Potter and the philosopher's Stone came out on June 26.
Tighe: Still got a baby.
Ryan: Yeah, but seven. Seven was.
Tighe: Seven came out. I think there's at least a solid.
Renee: Year, so we're bringing this all back to our notebooks.
Laura: And that seven came out of 95.
Renee: He has a notebook in that movie.
Tighe: So, wait, when is the second Harry Potter book out? Because I think it was only, like, two years later. It could have been 97.
Laura: I mean, I guess.
Tighe: Say it.
Laura: When did the second one come out?
Tighe: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Tighe: I would guess it's 97.
Laura: Well, the first one came out in 97, so the second one came out in 98. And then 99.
Tighe: Oh, right. You're sorry.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: And then 2000, banging them out. And then 2003 from over.
Ryan: Explaining that joke slightly.
Laura: Um, I'm going to tell everyone the synopsis of this film from letterbox.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: Struggling to find his place at Oxford University, student Oliver quick finds himself drawn into the world of the charming and aristocratic Felix Caton, who invites him to Saltburn, his eccentric family's sprawling estate for a summer never to be forgotten. The tagline is we're all about to lose our minds.
Renee: Full moon.
Laura: That's right.
Renee: It's about to be a full moon. That's right.
Laura: And I never read that. I try not to watch trailers in general anymore, um, because it's upsetting. They really need to sort that out about how much they show in the trailers.
Ryan: But, yeah, no one needs to go see, ah, Aquaman, too, if you've seen the trailer, uh, for the movie.
Renee: Unless, um, you love Nicole Kidman.
Laura: Some of us do.
Ryan: Yeah. There was a real quick shot of, uh, what's her face.
Tighe: Amber heard.
Ryan: Yeah, there's a real quick shot of her.
Laura: I don't, don't. I don't care about their dispute.
Ryan: That's his last outing as. Anyway, they're doing it over again. Yeah, that's his last outing. I think they're not keeping with, uh, the.
Laura: So he's the only thing that makes those movies make sense and watchable.
Ryan: Well, Warner brothers doesn't want it, supposedly.
Laura: Well, none of us want any of the DC movies, so how about that?
Ryan: I mean, you're not wrong.
Laura: Thanks, guys.
Ryan: Yeah. There you go.
Laura: Anyway, that being said, I still love them. Yeah, Emerald.
Ryan: Yeah, let's just get on with it.
So Emerald Fennel, she's, uh, an actress, filmmaker, writer. Um, you might have seen her, an actress in films like Albert Knobs from 2011, Anna Corennia from 2012, and obviously the danish girl from 2015. Um, she's also in Barbie as well. You might have recognized her, uh, from that. She plays midge.
Laura: Yeah, she plays the pregnant Barbie.
Ryan: Yes.
Laura: Hi, Barbie.
Tighe: Which should not be surprising because Margot Roby produced this movie. She was one of the producers.
Ryan: Yes.
Tighe: Not to jump ahead.
Ryan: Well, Margot. Yeah, Margot also produced Barbie as well. Correct. Um, but it. In terms of Emerald, she was also a showrunner for the season two of killing Eve in 2019. And she also wrote two episodes of Drifters from 2016. In terms of her film, she's only made two. So one of them is promising young women from 2020, which was her debut, amazing. Um, won the award, the Academy Award for best original screenplay and was also nominated for best pitcher and best director. Before then, she had a short film called careful how you go from 2018. And, uh, she also wrote a book for Andrew Lloyd Weber's musical Cinderella. I don't know why that was important. It was just there. But she has subsequent credits for writing books about particular musicals of the Andrew Lloyd Weber kind. I have no idea what they are.
Laura: Yeah, she became friends with Phoebe Wallerbridge during Albert knobs. And I think Phoebe is in her short film that you before.
Ryan: It's definitely who you.
Laura: Yeah, it's definitely. I'm glad they know each other because they're adorable and I like them.
Ryan: Yes. But, uh. Yeah, that covers that. Yeah, no, there's not much else. I'm trying to keep these sections relatively quite brief because they're nothing but facts. There's no hilarity in the.
Laura: So I think it's funny that Emerald was saying that american audiences might not get it. Like it's doing well, I think here. I mean, the fact that it's playing, I think we're lucky to have theater nearby that we have, because we do get more of the independent films that a lot of places don't get. Like, I told my mother to go watch this because she goes, oh, I don't have anything to do today. I go, you got to go see Saltburn. And it's not playing anywhere near her at all. So I do feel like we're lucky to be able to have this, and that's playing consistently. So I was a little bit worried we were going to miss it, but we didn't. Um, but Emerald was saying that she thinks that british audiences might get it more, that the fact that it's a comedy, um, like, you get a lot more laughs, maybe out of that audience than you do in America, because I think a lot of people reviewing it in America go, it's sick. She's sick. The movie's sick.
Tighe: When we saw it today for the second time, I noticed how few people were laughing. But when we saw it the first time, I think the theater was much more into the comedy. There were points today where I was the only person laughing at.
Renee: People laughed more this time.
Tighe: Interesting.
Renee: I thought people laughed more this time.
Tighe: There's definitely people in there that don't get that it's funny.
Renee: I'm m like, here's what the laughter sounds like. It doesn't sound like, oh, that's hilarious. It sounds like I'm uncomfortable. Well, I mean, yeah, I'm very uncomfortable.
Tighe: That's what it's trying to elicit. But on the funnier side of discomfort.
Laura: There'S some stuff that.
Tighe: There's some out and out jokes. There are some stuff that you could be like, oh, that's just, like, a little uncomfortable. But there are out and out, like gags.
Laura: Yeah. Uh, she had said, maybe I'm being facetious, but I don't think there's anything in this film that's sick, especially when I've been used to seeing women's bodies treated abominably in film and television. And I'm like, yeah, because there's no boobs. No boobs in this film. Think back.
Ryan: No, there's not.
Laura: There's just an appreciation. I mean, everyone in this movie is beautiful.
Ryan: What does she mean by abominably?
Laura: Women's bodies treated abominably?
Ryan: Yeah. What sort of examples would she cite as that, though?
Laura: Ah, I can't speak for her because.
Ryan: Abominably is a very strong term.
Laura: I mean, you could even think back to maybe Sharon Stone basic instinct type of things where she, uh, wasn't told that there was going to be a bad shot and then it's in the film. I mean, things like that maybe. Like not consensual things. I mean, women don't typically also get, uh, doubles or prosthetics things like that either. So you're kind of always just laid out and you don't have that choice. I'm not saying that that's abominable necessarily, but if you're asking me just off the top of my head, I'm like.
Ryan: Well, I mean, if I ever hear the word, uh, abominable, I'm just thinking about this snowman. I don't know what that is. It's such a weird. The abominable snowman.
Yeah. So I'm like, what does she mean by that? It doesn't make any sense to me a little bit. Like, there's a lot of other words, but yeah. Uh.
Laura: Thanks for bringing it back to Christmas time.
Ryan: Yeah, I know. I'm trying my best here.
Laura: I know, ty, you had in your notes because I was going to bring up the fact that, uh, of where this house actually was, but you had it in your notes.
Tighe: So why don't you.
Laura: Why don't you tell us about it? Because I know that it was built in around the 13 hundreds. And what I had in my notes is that the cast and crew had a lot of freedom that you wouldn't normally have in like, a stately home to where they could paint the walls and rearrange the furniture and they could stay there and they could kind of live in it because they wanted the house to be comfortable for them, I guess, and lived in and they wanted the grounds to be used. They wanted the inside to be used.
Ryan: It's set in England, right? Yeah, it is definitely set in England. I mean, England's littered with that stuff, though.
Tighe: Yeah, I lost the note, but, uh, it was just a website and I think I closed it. But Emerald was very specific. She didn't want a house that had been used in film before. She wanted it to feel totally new and fresh and I guess whatever deal they struck to your. Yeah, like the cast said that it seemed daunting at, but like, it was basically like summer camp. She wanted everyone to go to one location and just do most of the film together versus stringing together exteriors and interiors and stages. She wanted everyone to kind of just go and be so, like, I don't think everyone lived there, but I know Rosamund pike lived there. She said that she lived in the house. I think people stayed nearby because obviously you can't house everybody. But some of the people literally lived in the manor while they were doing it.
Laura: That. It's Drayton House in Northamptonshire.
Tighe: Yes.
Ryan: Okay, there you go.
Renee: I love any house that's big enough to have to call the rooms by the color. They probably are.
Tighe: There's this progression. We're like, oh, wow, a swimming pond. Oh, no, there's also a pool.
Laura: Also a pool.
Tighe: You get your choice.
Laura: And I know that a lot of people have compared it and drawn kind of lines towards talented Mr. Ripley. And call me by your name. And I have zero problem with that whatsoever, because I love both of those films. And this gave me hard, especially during know the pond, reading books by the water, reading naked in the field, and I'm like, this is going to be hard. Call me by your name. Vibes and I.
Ryan: It kind of starts like that, and then it reminded me a lot more of stoker.
Tighe: Yeah. Sort of twists and moves in a direction.
Ryan: Yeah, well, they kind of fucked up family in that one as well.
Laura: I don't even think that. I don't know. I don't think the family's all that fucked up. I think they're cute. Rosamund pike.
Tighe: It's because you love Richard e. Grant.
Laura: I love Richard e. Grant. I love them both.
Tighe: He is the most grounded of the family in some ways.
Laura: His face, his eyes, so bright, so charming.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: I love him so much.
Ryan: It kind of felt like his brain had just been eaten away through either irritation or just, uh, a level of frustration. Yeah, it just broke him. Just broke him.
Tighe: Yeah. Weirdly, the moments of I'm getting ahead, the moments of family connection around this. Just like watching dumb 2000s comedies and laughing.
Laura: But those were new to them.
Tighe: I know that's the point, but they're, like, all crammed into that little tv room. And if you look, Richard D. Grant has, like, a spoonful of Nutella. He's eating near one of them. And I think that's so adorable. It's so cute. Like the old english dab with a spoonful of Nutella, and everybody has a different snack. It just looks so cozy, even though people are unraveling at that point. But it looked very nice anyway.
Laura: No, I agree. Um, and also, Carrie Mulligan was drinking a red bull, and red bull can.
Tighe: Poor Pamela, by the way, I heard in the script her name is poor, dear Pamela. I don't know if that's true, but it's her character's full name, given name.
Laura: I think that's what it is in letterboard.
Tighe: So it probably is in the script. Usually they pull that right from the script. But I would love that if she was poor. To your pamela, like on the page.
Laura: Wonderful.
Um, my first note is, I loved him, but was I in love with him. Really thought this was going to be real gay.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: And I'm not disappointed.
Renee: It's very bisexual film. It's not gay.
Laura: It's very fluid.
Tighe: Yeah, it's very pan, I guess. Is there, um, an attraction that's based on being calculating and mean? That's what it would be.
Ryan: I mean, there's people out there who get sexually attracted to people who have, like, life ending diseases.
Tighe: Yeah, it's true.
Ryan: So there is that.
Laura: Well, that doesn't apply.
Ryan: Sorry. What are you talking about?
Tighe: You know what's funny, Saltburn? The confession level aspect of it where you forget that he's sort of narrating this. It comes back to him maybe only twice before the end, but I didn't really realize till this time. I'm like, oh, we don't know who he's talking to. He's kind of talking to us. When you see those little clips, you assume he's going to be like in an interview or a deposition or something in the final scene. But no, it just cuts to him being in the room and pulling her into bayesian tube. So he's kind of talking to himself and or us very briefly.
Ryan: I don't know.
Tighe: I thought that fourth wall thing was even creepier once I realized it on the second.
Laura: Very creepy.
Renee: Well, why don't you think he is talking to her?
Tighe: I guess he could be talking to her.
Laura: Maybe you're right. He was talking to her for a bit.
Ryan: You're right.
Tighe: I thought there were certain ways he phrased things that made me think he was speaking to a third viewer directly. But you're right, it could have been her off the next time I see it.
Ryan: Yeah, I think he was talking to her. Wearing the same clothes. Yeah, he was talking to her, but she's in a position where she can neither explain nor retaliate from what he's saying to her. So it's also incredibly cruel in that respect.
Tighe: By the way, what do you think he did to get her there? Yeah, they just jumped her, being very ill. And he only says months. He goes, these months have been the happiest. It's only been months.
Renee: Slow poison.
Laura: Do you think they got married or do you think she just signed over the house to him? We're all over the.
Tighe: But yeah, it's fine. This movie's a little all over the place like that. Um, yeah, I don't know.
Laura: I feel like she just maybe signed it over.
Tighe: I think she maybe signed it over to him. I love that shot where she's signing it and creepy Butler is over and he's peeking through the sliver of light.
Laura: Yeah.
Tighe: All right. We did jump around. Sorry, go back.
Ryan: So four three. We're at private school. Um. Yeah, this is where it goes. I didn't realize that it was going to be in four three. So it was, um. Yeah. There's something about something being in four three, which means, like, almost as a prerequisite that it has to be symmetrical. Yeah. Um, it's the same with most, uh, of the shots in first reformed as well. Ends up being a symmetry, too. Everything's in the middle because it's four three. That's probably my only knock against the movie, is that everything is symmetrical just because it's four three. But that's really about as much as I can give it, really.
Tighe: It's so beautiful, too, I think because also, I didn't realize till afterwards it's film. It's like legitimate film. Four three. So they're not masking or anything. They're shooting film like 435 and then just taking the full thing. They're not cropping it or anything.
Ryan: Like the olden days.
Tighe: Yes, exactly.
Ryan: Oh, I see.
Tighe: Uh, and I'll just say, just to talk overall about the film. The cinematography is amazing. It's so natural. Everything feels, like, motivated by a practical or something like that. But then it takes these random, seemingly random moments where it goes very painterly and abstract. You know what I mean? There's that one earlier. You see the three images of him turning. It's from the first five shots of the film.
Laura: Right. When he's staring at the window.
Tighe: Yes. And then that whole scene where him and the mom are talking at sunset and she's in the purple dress, and it's like, purple no matter what coverage they cut. So it's purple in the background, but then they're clearly being lit in like an old Hollywood kind of style. You know what I mean? And it's just like abstract but very beautiful. And they just do that every now and then. But so much stuff is just like coming through a window. I mean, this is like Barry London level stuff where they're just like. It seems like there's very few things lighting them other than whatever lights in the room. People go into darkness all the.
Laura: Yeah, yeah. There's even that shot of him. And I don't remember at which point it is in the movie, but where Oliver's, like, in his bedroom alone at Saltburn, and the light kind of coming through the windows, lighting him in that really nice, kind of, like, know, like that sunset type of light, I think, you know, right before they go to.
Tighe: Dinner or something, they use those windows as kind of art department set dressing, too. Like when he goes to see the tutor in the beginning, there's one that's pulled up and tucked. And then the ones at Saltburn are always very orderly and pulled off until someone dies. And then they're the red curtains in the lunch and they make a big deal about it. But there are times when the shot is two people and then windows and window dressing in the background for long periods. So, anyway, I just think it's really interesting how they just embraced that.
Laura: Um, I know when I saw it for the first time, I was not sure about when this movie was set because you have that kind of the music in the beginning setting it off, and he's walking through, know, and so you have kind of a tone and a setting. And I'm like, when the hell is this?
Renee: Yeah. Anything in Oxford feels old timey.
Laura: Of course.
Renee: Yeah. So you're like, is it. How old timey is this? You see the welcome signs, right?
Laura: Yes. Uh, uh. 2006, right.
Ryan: Well, you see a written reference to 2006.
Laura: There's a banner he kind of walks through into the courtyard and there's a banner behind it. I go, uh, yeah.
Tighe: And then you only see one cell phone that I remember, but it's a full candy bar style, like cell phone. When he says he'll text Oliver and you see him looking at his phone, the only one I see, and it is like, straight up a Nokia from, like, the mid two thousand s. Yeah.
Laura: It's like the generation after the big, thick boys.
Tighe: Yeah.
Renee: But I have a dumb question, because you see those banners, and then after the movie, I was thinking, did it say, welcome, class of 2006? Or just say, welcome. It's 2006. I started questioning because I'm like, don't you call a class of 2006 when they're graduating?
Laura: Right?
Tighe: Do they not do that in England or Oxford?
Ryan: It's almost sacrilegious to incite the fact that Oxford would make any sort of grammatical error with its banners.
Laura: Well, it's not grammatical, but it's more know, is there a cultural difference? They're starting at Oxford. Right? Because this year one.
Renee: Yeah, it definitely felt like year one.
Ryan: Don'T usually use, like, class of in the UK.
Renee: Okay. So I think that's the difference? Because I started being like 2002 students.
Laura: That's true, right? Well, there was students of the year.
Renee: 2006, and then the whole thing to me becomes a period piece because I'm just like, it's so nostalgic for people our age. Like the juicy sweatpants and the music.
Laura: Juicy couture.
Renee: Juicy couture, yeah. Um, I mean, there's so many little bits. The movies, they watch everything, and it's just like, charmingly set in that time.
Laura: That's very true, because this is when we all would. I mean, I went to school a lot later than most people did, but this would have been college years.
Ryan: I was in university the same time. This film is set when they're in university.
Laura: How did you feel?
Ryan: I don't know. Maybe it feels like that the 2000s is a funny time.
Laura: It's a weird time to pin down as like, ah, a style.
Ryan: It is something. I would also say the 2000s is incredibly unstylish. It has a kind of trash feel about it. What the fuck it is.
Laura: Exactly. Maybe that's why it helps everyone just having different styles. Farrelly is the most stylish person.
Renee: Oh, for sure.
Ryan: If you're ever confused as to when this film is set, I mean, you just listen to the soundtrack. It's basically all songs. I was never interested in listening to myself, but you heard just out there in the ether from places that you went to.
Tighe: I will say it was decidedly like, british. Oh, yeah, decidedly british, yes. Uh, I would say I was only vaguely familiar with some of them. And I would call myself someone that watches a higher than average Americans amount of british things.
You know what I mean? Nowhere near as other people. But if, uh, I said anything was going to alienate the Americans, it would be like the very average American who's going to not know any of the.
Laura: Songs except Mr. Brightside. That's only in it for maybe.
Renee: Is he even in it because they're just singing? I was thinking, I was like, would.
Laura: This be on the soundtrack?
Renee: Because you never actually hear the real song. You just hear them singing it loudly.
Tighe: Probably not, is the answer.
Laura: It's pretty good.
Ryan: Yeah, it's very british. I would say. It's very, um.
Laura: Love.
So the first person that has a line in the movie is fairly who we meet a little bit later. Um, but he is the first line. And. Oh, that's what wrote. Just wait, guys, till you see our notes. It's a fucking, um, shirt.
Ryan: Yeah, he says, nice coat, didn't he? Or say, nice shirt, nice jacket.
Laura: See, I wrote it down and I wrote something on top of it.
Renee: Something like, nice jacket.
Laura: It's a reference to Oliver's clothing, which is obviously a joke because he's wearing a dumbass jacket, uh, tie, or, like, in an Oxford sweater coat thing, like a letterman's jacket type of thing. It's embarrassing.
Ryan: He looks a little bit like a briefcase wanker.
Laura: Yeah, that's what he.
Ryan: Yeah. It's kind of like the opening to the in betweeners series. That's what it felt like.
Laura: Yeah. Um, he is that guy from the in between. He's will from the in betweeners. Oh, my God. A thousand percent.
Renee: I thought he looked very nice.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: Also, the girl he did. You're not wrong. He did.
Laura: He was dressed.
Ryan: Well, he was dressed.
Renee: He was ready for his first day at Hogwarts.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: Yes. He dressed in the clothing they got. He read the entire summer reading list.
Tighe: Oh, my gosh. 50 books real fast. The girl who he ultimately makes out with and insults, um, she says something like, he shops at Oxfam. Is that a brand? I don't know.
Laura: Like Oxford family.
Ryan: It's a charity shop.
Tighe: Yeah. So the joke translated. I was like, yeah, I get it. She's clearly making fun of him. Okay. It was filling it in for anybody.
Ryan: Yeah. Going back to that scene where you read all 50 books, even read the King James Bible. Like that. The entirety of that. That moment's really funny. But we were the only ones that really laughed.
Tighe: Oh, my God. Cracking up. It's so good. The Persona of that tutor and the way it changes once he goes through his weird, creepy stalker story. But his blase everything, uh, like, whole Persona is so great. It reminded me kind of. Of weirdly, there's something about Mary. Richard Jenkins plays the psychologist in the beginning, and he sneaks in the. It's. It's such a good bit in that movie. But the same thing where he just does not care. Like, he truly doesn't give a shit about helping this other person.
Laura: Do not tell your mom that. I know. Don't. Do not say I mentioned her.
Tighe: Oh, my God. I love that so much.
Laura: Admirer from afar.
Ryan: Well, I'm glad you brought that moment where they were kind of like, there's people doubting Oliver every turn, though, I would say. Because when they say, you know, it's like, uh, he got his scholarship, he got his trust fund, or whatever it was, but he shops at Oxfam. I just immediately was just like, well, it's because he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. That's effectively what he's trying to, because.
Laura: He could afford nicer clothes. He could dress like it's not the people around him. He's almost at the level of the people around him. Obviously he's not a lord and he doesn't have a stately home, but his home was not.
Tighe: His parents clearly cared, even though he's on scholarship. He wasn't poor.
Ryan: Yes, a nice suburban bungalow, like a nice suburban neighborhood. Where he is, uh, where he comes from is actually very nice.
Tighe: I have a question later, but keep going.
Ryan: But, um. No, I was going to say, um, I didn't really believe him in all of the things he was saying. From the off. I felt there was something about him that I just didn't really get. And that was from speaking to you, Laura, that you were like, well, that blew my mind. I was in the entire time, I was like, I'm not sure he's telling the truth because he's telling the most warped and most exaggerated version of I came from a troubled home story. Like, that's not the version of that story that you tell.
Laura: I noticed in the theater when he was saying, uh, I can never go back there. It's so disgusting. And he's just really, really laying it on. And you just started writing. And I was like, oh no. Because I believed him 1000%.
Renee: I did too. This is why he acts so disturbed. Yeah, because he acts weird and disturbed because he had this fucked up childhood. I've totally bought it too. But now that Ryan says that it was extreme, I don't think that's how someone who lived the experience would have described it.
Ryan: I mean, the idea of, oh no, my mother might die in her sleep. I have to make her vomit bishop before she goes to bed. Like that sort of thing.
Tighe: The movie, I caught it the second time. The movie purposely misleads you red herrings. Because the scene before he goes and tells him that his father's passed away, he does get a call from his mother.
Laura: Yeah.
Renee: What's that call about?
Laura: We never know.
Tighe: We never know.
Laura: Hi, son. Pure red herring school, probably.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: That is pure misdirection.
Renee: It's just like he got the idea of being on the phone, maybe.
Laura: Yeah. There's little pieces where it's interesting to think he tells the story as if I had this all planned.
Ryan: Mhm.
Laura: And this was my plan all along. And I don't believe that. I do believe that he really just wanted to be friends with this guy. And then once it turned, he goes, I have to figure something out.
Tighe: Yeah, I believe that we're seeing the narrative that now exists in his head as the owner, everything has been sort of, um, retconned to fit the narrative of his life.
Renee: His motivation changed, but that for this, he was being sneaky all along.
Tighe: Um, correct.
Renee: But his motivation changed.
Tighe: Yeah. His ultimate from love to hate. Yes.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: I don't know if he ever really loved them. Just like, can't fucking stand you bathtub. Yeah, he does. He licks the fucking. The plug hole in the bathtub.
Laura: It's like, uh, the hottest shit ever. I'm so serious. There are so many parts of this movie that should not be hot. And then I watched it again today, and I was like, I don't know.
Tighe: I don't know, man. Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy.
Renee: I don't get it. It doesn't give it to me. For the bathtub licking this up. I'm just full on creeped out by it. I think it's also because they're all also all still wet from washing themselves up, but they just look sweaty to me. And I don't know. I mean, the bathtub masturbation scene almost had me, but pretty good. Not drained.
Laura: The slurp. The slurp.
Ryan: Yeah. Well, that's the thing. He's masturbating in the bath, and then it's just a big semen cloud just kind of permeating in the bath.
Laura: Well, most of it's just soap, which is gross.
Ryan: I'm sure it is. But then it's just like there, floating on the top of the war while you're still having a bath.
Laura: I'm sure he drained it right after.
Ryan: I hope so.
Laura: I really was.
That's another thing where I was 1000% expecting him. That show you where that dude's outside the girl's house and he's just jerking off, just watching her live. Her. Oh, no. She was masturbating as well. Anyway.
Ryan: She was masturbating.
Laura: So I was expecting that from this film, just in case you weren't aware.
Ryan: She was masturbating. Yes.
Laura: Everyone was masturbating.
Tighe: But to your note in this movie, my favorite shot probably is that shot of him out in the garden watching, um, uh, him make out with that girl.
Laura: And he put the cigarette.
Tighe: Cigarette. And there's just this unmotivated moonlight on him, and it's just gorgeous. It's so creepy, but so beautiful at the same time. It's my favorite shot in the movie.
Laura: I like that they showed that a couple of times.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: I could watch that again.
Ryan: Yeah. The opening of the movie, not to kind of jump around too much, obviously. Good, uh, luck. They show key shots over the course of the story at the very beginning while, uh, the voiceover monologue is happening before the main title comes up.
Laura: It's so funny because I know this is. I don't even know why I'm worried about seeing spoilers, but even though the beginning, I loved him. I loved him, but was I in love with him? And it was all this past tense, and I still just didn't quite compute what was going to happen to him. I just really just dove in.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: Did you think what was going to happen would end in death? Yeah.
Renee: No, I didn't think so. Because you can still love someone past tense and they can be alive.
Ryan: Yeah. That was something that I didn't think was going to happen, but it did.
Renee: And then he said he didn't have to tell us what happened.
Ryan: Yeah, he didn't have to.
Renee: We already know.
Laura: We already know. Well, yeah. By then, did you feel bad at all for his friend? Like his first friend at, uh.
Ryan: Uh.
Tighe: Okay, so I did the first time around. The second time, I noticed something that made me absolutely hate this character. He brings him that candy bar, and then he immediately eats it. Watch what he does in the background. He unwraps the whole candy bar and then start eating it from the fucking middle.
Laura: He did eat it from the middle.
Tighe: He eats it from the middle. That is, uh, a psychopath move.
Laura: It was really up.
Tighe: He made a smart choice to distance himself from that perfect weirdo. That man would have killed him and eaten him from the middle.
Ryan: Yeah. He was eating a crunchy sidebar, which is something that you don't do with a crunchy.
Tighe: Any bar from the side?
Ryan: No.
Tighe: Uh, it's shaped like a bar for a reason.
Ryan: Yeah. Uh, uh, I just thought he was a little bit psychopathic, but he's got no friends because, I mean, there's a couple of outbursts. One of my favorites was where he's like. He's like, fucking ask me a sum. So he can do a sum because he loves his multiplications and stuff so much.
Laura: Uh, but it's like, who else would know the answer to that? If you're so good at math or maths, if you ask me to multiply something, I'm not going to know the answer.
Ryan: Well, he wanted the challenge. He wanted them to give him the thing.
There's a weird tone to the film. We'll just put it out there. There's a weird tone to the film. Um, that kind of permeates the whole thing. It's very hyper realistic. Like, there's something weird about it. There's an undercurrent that's quite disturbing under the whole thing. And it's very particular. It's kind of like how someone might see a, ah, crazy family in England. Um, like that kind of idea.
Laura: Yeah. I mean, you're not wrong. It's very weird and uncomfortable and it's hilarious. That part is so funny because also, I've never seen a scene other than in a Harry Potter film where everyone at university is eating a meal at long tables. Yeah. Is that real?
Renee: I need to know.
Tighe: Well, this is like old to.
Laura: I'm not a wanna boast over here, but I went to a pretty good school in Scotland and there was no such thing.
Tighe: So, yeah, it might be just pure fancy and it also might be.
Ryan: What?
Laura: So you. It might have been more like that if you had, like, your undergrad.
Tighe: Oxford might be so like.
Ryan: I mean, Oxford or Cambridge. I mean, you went to University of Edinburgh, which is a relatively common.
Laura: No, no, you go to University of Edinburgh if you can't get into those schools, that's who goes to Edinburgh, like me.
Ryan: Wow, look at that.
Laura: That's what I heard people talk.
Ryan: You're incredibly smart. Is that what you're trying to say?
Laura: Yeah, not as smart, but yeah, I'm not going to destroy a whole family and steal a castle, but I can get around.
Tighe: So who is more successful, him or his weird eating things from the little friend? Because that guy probably went on to be successful.
Renee: That's what I'm saying. I don't feel bad for him.
Laura: He probably became an accountant or something.
Renee: No, he's a top one percenter by now. Yeah, he probably invented some kind of software.
Tighe: Uh, that dude could buy that a.
Ryan: Goodwill hunting well, no, he creates probably a whites only social media site. Yeah, it's probably good.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Ryan: Yeah, he's probably a fascist.
Laura: Shit.
Tighe: Yeah.
Renee: We all got very different vibes from Michael.
Laura: When he goes, I'm going for a slash. Get me another pint, will you? And he doesn't get him a pint. And he goes, I don't even know that guy. Which is so obvious that he does. It made me a little savvy.
Tighe: Oh, yeah.
Laura: It hurts because I feel like we've all maybe had that friend or even potentially been that friend. I've been that friend and I've done that to people. When you're a shitty person, sometimes where you're like, well, I found someone cooler and I've had friends that go, oh, I found someone cooler. And so you're kind of left out of that situation.
Tighe: Sorry, Ryan, you just got a peek in the future.
Ryan: My was. He was NFI. Will I be nfi in the future? Is that what you're saying?
Laura: No, you're already.
Ryan: Oh, I'm already in. Okay.
Laura: That letter is in that pigeonhole you are in. You got the invitation.
Ryan: Yeah. I say good luck to Laura trying to do that in the future, though, because I will make a fucking stink out of it. It will not be fun.
Laura: You gonna gone girl me?
Ryan: Um, who knows? Who knows who's the craziest person in this room? Probably me. Um.
Laura: Uh, good question.
Tighe: Let's took a turn.
Ryan: Yeah, well, who is the craziest person in this room?
Renee: But what's the criteria?
Tighe: Yeah, most likely to finish the sentence.
Ryan: Well, I don't know. There's the dark horse, the stranger. I'd say that would be the tie. Stranger danger. Yeah, he's probably got something underlying in there that he's just.
Laura: Ty's got stranger danger.
Ryan: Yeah. Let's say he's got dark horse nature about, um, him.
Tighe: I was about to say we should stop this because there will be no good conversation after, uh, this point. And I should have said it because I stand by that. Feelings are getting hurt, y'all.
Renee: I feel like Laura might do the craziest thing to get back at someone.
Tighe: I can believe.
Renee: Yeah.
Tighe: Carolina's not in the room, but there is a revenge vibe to Laura.
Laura: It would be really slow.
Tighe: Yeah.
Laura: I mean, people have told me that if you see the four whites of someone's eyes, you know that they're trouble. And I've heard that people can see that a lot from me.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: Because of my eyes.
Tighe: Otherwise known as I will cut you.
Laura: Can you see the four whites of my eyes?
Tighe: Jesus Christ.
Ryan: Yeah. Can I see the. What if your.
Laura: The four whites of your eyes. All whites, top, bottom, on the side.
Ryan: Oh, you've got massive eyes, though, like that.
Renee: Beautiful eyes.
Ryan: She has massive fucking eyes.
Tighe: Anime eyes.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: They pop out of your fucking head. They're huge.
Laura: Thanks.
Tighe: I've never heard full whites.
Laura: No.
Ryan: So if you see the full white.
Laura: Or is it full white or might.
Ryan: Be four, it's either you've got giant eyes or your, uh, eyelids are way too small.
Laura: So I don't know, I'm perfectly proportioned. And I will gong grill everyone in this room.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: Be careful.
Ryan: That's fine. I'd love to see it. If I wasn't the first one to get gone. Girled, then. I would love to see who the first one is and how it goes.
Laura: Okay, that's fine.
Ryan: How can you kill yourself four times and then we all go down for the same murder?
Laura: It'd be like a group gone girling.
Ryan: Right.
Tighe: Okay.
Renee: I want to go back to Oxford.
Laura: Yes.
Renee: Um, when they got out of there.
Ryan: Nfi not fucking, um, invite. I was going to say not fucking interested, but, yeah.
Laura: I am. VFI. About what Renee is going to say about their exams. Don't be too interested.
Renee: I was wondering when they got their exams. It was, like, party time and everyone. Was that something Felix arranged just to cheer up? Uh, Ollie? Or was that just. That's how they end exams?
Tighe: And some of them were, like, putting the things on them, and some of them were receiving them. So there were, like, two waves of.
Ryan: It I didn't understand.
Tighe: Maybe it's like a british or an iv thing.
Ryan: You didn't have a very good test. I would find that to be incredibly out of place.
Renee: You have a feeling of how you did?
Ryan: Yeah.
Renee: Either way, it's done. So I even celebrate when I thought I had a bad run of an exam, because I'm like, well, it's over now, and there's nothing I can do to stress about it or whatever.
Ryan: Do they do real tests at Oxford, though? I mean, to be fair, didn't their parents just write a check?
Renee: Remember Scantron?
Ryan: They just sign it off and then pass their exams. Yeah.
Laura: Do they do a scantron for their exams?
Tighe: Probably not.
Laura: And you just slide it in. That's why you know if you did good or not.
Ryan: Yeah. They got a chipping pin, and they just kind of chip.
Laura: Slide it in his sleeve. We'll, uh, let you know your results in two to four weeks.
Tighe: Yeah.
Laura: Jesus.
Ryan: Carry on.
Renee: When was the first time they said the titular line or said Saltburn?
Ryan: I think when he gets invited to it.
Laura: When he gets invited.
Renee: And then they can't stop saying it. Saltburn this, Saltburn.
Laura: Saltburn that. It's a good name. It's a good name. Um, I'm trying to think of when the vomit in the sink happened, because I love it.
Ryan: It was straight after he meets him in the pub and they're doing the rounds. And then what's, uh.
Renee: When he wasn't invited?
Laura: Yeah, it's because Felix, uh, gets annoyed at Oliver. Because Oliver's like, you never clean up. Rich people never have to clean up. You're disgusting. And he kind of, like, soft breaks up with him. M. And then that's when Oliver goes back to his dorm, and that girl that was hanging out with Felix is there, and she tries to do a revenge poke.
Ryan: Yeah, and they got that 70 cl of vodka that they're just wigging.
Renee: I was wondering what kind of fluid that was.
Ryan: I've never done that.
Tighe: Me either. But that.
Laura: Oh, I have. And it was canadian whiskey. And I did a full salt burn barf on the sink for that one.
Tighe: This is the only end for that.
Renee: You've barfed in a sink? I don't think I've ever barfed in a sink. I barfed in a bathtub once.
Laura: To be fair. It wasn't. It was on the floor. The gentleman I was seeing at the time put my trash can right next to my bed. Like, put me in bed. I was living with my parents. He put the trash can next to my bed for me to barf in. But it was one that you had to put the lid on. Um, so it was like a step trash can. So I woke up with vomit all over the top of the trash can.
Ryan: Yeah. Pedal bins, uh, are probably not the best idea to have, uh, at the side of your bed while you're trying to sleep.
Laura: He did his best. He did his best, but, yeah, full on.
Renee: You guys go to the kitchen and get a pot.
Laura: Yeah, but my mom was there with her arms crossed, going, what is happening? And I'm just hammed.
Renee: We're going to go 18 years old up in the kitchen.
Laura: I mean, he couldn't even get me into the kitchen. I was blasted. I was done. So.
Ryan: Oh, man.
Laura: Canadian whiskey, baby.
Ryan: Uh, canadian mist. I think I've puked everywhere other than the sink.
Laura: Plastic bottle. Okay.
Tighe: Never, uh, yacked in a sink.
Ryan: Sink is never the first place you go to the toilet.
Tighe: I think I did do once, but, yeah, I'm generally a toilet or, like, the floor. Um, which. Oh, man. There's not a story. I'll cut out most of the story, but six, uh, a. M. We've all been out drinking. We're like, this is like, 18 years old. We're at a Denny's. A friend gets up and goes to the bathroom. All of a sudden, like, 15 minutes later, some guy comes in and he goes, hey, you friends with that blonde haired fella? He had, like, bleach white, like, Android blade runner hair.
Ryan: And I was like, nice.
Tighe: Yeah. They're like, he's throwing up in the bathroom. I open the door, and there is puke everywhere in this bathroom. And he is, like, half covered in it, leaning against the wall. And I was like, hold on. I take him directly out, put him in the car, go back to the table, and I go, we have to leave right now. And Lily, as I said this, they were dropping all of the food we've been waiting for. And I was like, we have to leave right now. Oh, part of the story, too. We were sitting next to a table of six cops. So, like, drunk, underage, our friend just puked in the bathroom. I was like, holy fuck. We have got to get out of here.
Laura: Did you give him a tiny cup when he got in the car? Allah Wayne's world.
Tighe: Yes. If you're going to spew, spew into this beautiful.
Ryan: Roy baddie puked.
Tighe: That's not rain, baby.
Ryan: That's puke.
Laura: Oh, God. Uh, it's really gross how it's all over, like, that perfect bar of green stone. Uh, shout out to that design. Yeah, I like the one. The first time we saw it too.
You heard the whole audience go, oh, I think they did it today as well. Yeah.
Tighe: It is the definition of, like, spewing chunks.
Laura: Yeah, it's explosive.
Ryan: And because of the chunks, the sink is the worst place to do it in, because then you've got to pick those chunks, uh, up, or you got to mash them down that sink, because.
Laura: In those dorms, you'd have to.
Tighe: That's true. Yeah, that's right. They don't have a full.
Laura: Wouldn't have a toilet.
Renee: You don't have a toilet.
Tighe: Yeah, old college like that. You just have a sink to wash up, go down the hall.
Ryan: I had an en suite and a.
Tighe: Little shower, I think.
Ryan: Really old place.
Tighe: This place wouldn't put in an air conditioner, per Felix's sweaty point.
Laura: That's very common, though.
Ryan: I mean, my view from the window, though, was just, um, like another roof that it was like, tucked in behind the two. The. I wasn't on the top floor, but I was on kind of like, just where that. And you could walk out onto that. I used to go onto that to smoke, but it just looked out onto the back alley. So, yeah, there is that. I did have an en suite, but didn't have a view.
Tighe: I would prefer a. I had a. I stayed at A-B-B in London, and literally the door opened and it barely cleared the bed by, like, couple centimeters.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Tighe: And then the corner of the bed, which is only, I think, like a full, almost hit the corner of the one dresser. So you had to step over the corner of the bed to then get to the bathroom, whose door also brushed the edge of the bed. And then that bathroom, quote, unquote, was just a triangle, like a three foot by three foot, could fully be hosed down kind of thing. It was beautiful. It was like something out of, like, european vacation.
Ryan: That sounds like exquisite engineering. Like someone designed it to be thin a few inches till the millimeter.
Laura: I've seen that before.
Ryan: That's like the place we went to when we went to London. Remember? We went there and opened the window, and it just.
Laura: Like, looking right onto the big trash bins outside.
Ryan: It was like looking out of the window of Jerry Seinfeld's bathroom. Like, it just looked onto a brick wall. You're just like, right, okay. Uh, wow.
Laura: Wonderful.
Ryan: Yeah, it was good. That was funny.
Laura: It is nice.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: Um, there's so much more to talk about before.
The next note that I wrote in this crazy scratched up notebook is about Saltburn, but I don't even want to.
Ryan: Go there yet because I wanted to talk about with the rocks. This is, like, all good british films that we've seen before, like, the kind of the newish wave of british films that came out in the late eighty s and into the 90s, because there's a lot of british film style to this that I quite enjoy.
Laura: Tell me more. Which ones?
Ryan: Like good british films, like train spotting.
Laura: Okay.
Ryan: Yeah. Stuff like that. They kind of put, like, uh, a twist on the ordinary that we kind of like quite a fear from that time. Or, like, 24 hours party people.
Laura: Those all have pretty good vomit in them. Oh, yeah, for the most part. Right.
Ryan: Yes, they do.
Laura: This is in line with top vomit shots in films.
Ryan: In british cinema. In british cinema.
Tighe: Is there a BAFTA for that? Is there a BAFTA?
Laura: Should be.
Ryan: Um. I mean, the BAFTAs might as well just be full of vomit. It's all fucking garbage to. Um. But, uh. Yeah. Um.
Laura: I wonder how Steve Coogan would have done as the role of the father. But I'm glad Richard E. Grant is in it. M. I was thinking of BAFTA people.
Ryan: I think he would have been too much. He might have been too.
Laura: Oh.
Ryan: I don't know. I think he might have been a bit of, uh. He might have been a little too hungry to steal those scenes.
Laura: I feel a little bit too attractive. That's it.
Ryan: Um. Okay. That's it wasn't the answer I was looking for, but it was the answer we got.
Laura: There you go.
Ryan: They sit and they watch Superbad as well. At one point as well, just in case you didn't know, this was in the 2000s. They watched Superbad.
Tighe: Yeah.
Laura: It's really cute, them all watching Superbad. I love it.
Ryan: What was the horror film they were watching?
Laura: They're watching the.
Ryan: The ring. Ring. The american ring. American ring, yeah. Uh, the, uh, Gorever Binsky movie. Um.
Laura: That'S right.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: So there is that moment, right? It's like after exams and they're having. I'm going to go back, and then we'll go to Saltburn. I'm sorry, but when. It's a sweet moment when they finally become friends again.
Because, like, we were talking about the phone call from the mom that Oliver gets, and then he warps this into the thing saying that my dad died and he cracked his head on the pavement, and my mom's all drunk. She has no idea what's going. Uh, uh. Felix feels bad for him, right? Because he's like his little pet project, his little puppy, and he goes, does that sweet, sweet thing where after exams, before they go to the party, if they even go to the party, he tells them the story about how it's like a tradition in their family when someone passes away that they write their name on a little stone and then they throw it into the river. And so they have that nice little moment together. And I think that was really where I was like, this guy's a nice guy. This Felix guy is, like, a genuinely nice guy because Oliver is difficult. Like, he's not an easy person to get along with.
Renee: Intense.
Laura: Yeah. He needs a lot of work as a friend.
Tighe: But they allude, like, even his sister alludes to, like, oh, better than last. Felix brings, like, uh, in need of help, friend home every summer. I think he always has a little pet friend amongst all.
Laura: Of course.
Ryan: Vibe.
Laura: Of course. Um, but I like that moment because he throws the rock, and then it hits, like, an old bottle and a pile of vomit. More vomit.
Ryan: Yeah.
Renee: Oh, he's not great at throwing things. There's water all around.
Laura: I know. Yeah. But then he decides that, yeah, he'll go to Saltburn because he doesn't want to go hang out with his drug addled mother. When, uh, Oliver shows up for the first time at Saltburn and he gets greeted by Duncan.
Renee: Duncan, the very scary butler, who, at first, too, when he opened the doors open, I'm like, wait, is this house also haunted? How'd those doors open? I don't know how I felt very Oliver in that moment, I'm like, how's rich people stuff work, man?
Laura: That's true. He also looked like he had lip fillers.
Renee: I think he has fillers maybe in his cheeks, too.
Laura: Yeah, he looks great. Yeah, he looked very smooth. Um, but that shot in the very beginning, which I maybe shouldn't even be bringing up right now, but is a mirror of the very, very end of the film. So, like, when he gets to walk through the house and getting introduced to it for the first time, is a mirror of the very end where he dances through the house.
Ryan: I see.
Laura: It's the same path.
Renee: I didn't realize that.
Laura: Yeah, like walking through and saying, oh, look at all these rooms. He does that same one all the way, you know, obviously, which this is.
Tighe: The time to talk about it. The original ending was just him in a robe, walking around, sort of like observing everything and sort of being the master of the house and then sitting down and getting. Duncan serves him like runny eggs and he eats like, it was a different sort of tieback. And then she decided like, no, it's going to be better if he's just like dancing naked. Let's just go full crazy with this.
Renee: It needs to be more of a celebration.
Laura: Yeah, for sure. And I'm glad that they did film that at the end of kind of like the production.
Ryan: Mhm.
Laura: Because you do kind of get more comfortable and you do kind of realize how maybe things have moved and changed. Because I think these things are more of like a living entity as you go through. So you can change things up a bit.
Tighe: It also just creates an even further dichotomy from him being crazy at the end to like, even when Felix is walking him through, he's telling him crazy stories or little bits. He's like, oh, is Shakespeare's folio. Accidentally fingered my cousin there. He's just dropping these.
Renee: There's grandma's ghost. Hi, grandma.
Tighe: Yeah, he's also being very flip about a lot of things. You know what I mean? Like pure, detached rich boy.
Laura: Because what else would you do? This is where you grew up. That's your. Yeah, like, that's your home. And it looks like that.
Tighe: It's a long gallery. Implies that there's another gallery.
Laura: Right?
Tighe: It's a long gallery.
Laura: Well, we'll all be in the library. Meet us in the library. And he's like, the library?
Ryan: Yeah. I love that.
Laura: Like, Jesus.
Ryan: Um, what do you think we have in the library? Just copies of Harry Potter books, it would seem. That's all they're reading.
Laura: Only a few. They're not all out yet, are they?
Renee: I love that they're reading Harry Potter. I love that they ask if they think, um, Harry, uh, Ron and Hermione will have a threesome. Because they should have. You remember that they say that in a movie.
Laura: This m movie? Yeah, it's when they're, like, floating in.
Renee: The pond, and, um, I think the sister's reading the book.
Laura: Someone just yells out, hey, do you think. And they make that up. No, I love that. I didn't even notice that. But they all shared that same copy, right?
It's like one person finishes it and then the other person reads it. Um, which I think is very cute because it's the same copy.
Ryan: Should Harry Potter and what's the other name of the other ones in that?
Laura: Ron and Hermione.
Ryan: Ron. Should they have had a threesome?
Laura: No.
Renee: Obviously, no.
Laura: They were children. That was the first.
Renee: That's where you get experimental, you monster.
Laura: They were at school.
Ryan: I didn't ask the question. I thought Renee was genuinely asking the question.
Renee: And I'm like, well, anyways, I like that.
Laura: Not necessary, Ryan. I like that. Go different ways.
Renee: Oxford reminded me of Harry Potter movies, and they're all reading Harry Potter movies, and then they allude to the bisexuality. That should have happened in Harry Potter. Yeah, that's what I like.
Laura: There you go.
Ryan: Wow. There you go.
Laura: There should have been more threesomes than Harry Potter. That's what we're saying. Obviously, that's a takeaway.
Ryan: Well, Dumbledore is also gay as well, so could have been all open to all sorts of possibilities, as you know. It's just. So JK didn't look like the worst imaginable. No, I am open to other sexualities.
Laura: And you go, what's the difference if he's gay? It makes no difference whatsoever. Exactly.
Ryan: Because it wasn't written that way, was it?
JK, do you remember when you see.
Laura: Carrie Mulligan and we already called her dear, poor Pamela, right? Oh, my gosh, she is really cool. And I did like her hair a lot.
Renee: She has beautiful.
Laura: That tattoo that just says, was it a daddy on her arm and a heart.
Ryan: She had really bad.
Laura: Yeah, the worst tattoos. But, I mean, she was an addict.
Tighe: They could admit that she was an addict. I mean, she already wasn't making good decisions.
Laura: Uh, she was hanging out with a russian billionaire.
Tighe: Also in rehab.
Laura: Also in rehab. I love when she goes, oh, I didn't understand the russian word for whore, so I just thought it sounded like lovely poetry.
Ryan: Uh, malignantly ugly.
Laura: Well, Rosamund pike has a deep seated fear of ugliness and facial hair.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: So weird.
Ryan: Rosamund pike has probably some of the best lines in the movie.
Tighe: Oh, yeah, for sure. She's pure comedy gold, and she plays it straight as a heart attack. But she is the source of so much good comedy.
Laura: She's incredible.
Tighe: So, um, detached from reality.
Ryan: She's like, I barely knew Jarvis. As in Jarvis Cocker, the lead singer of the verve back in the day.
Renee: I love it when she says that everyone thought the song common people was about her. I read the lyrics after watching the movie. I'm like, oh, this is like basically a song speaks about how these people treat people that are poor or common. They just want to dabble in their world and they'll never understand.
Laura: What else did she say? Um, oh, in the song, it says something about wanting to know everything because she goes, well, I never wanted to know anything at all.
Tighe: I never wanted to learn anything. She was always speaking of her and poor dear Pamela, she's like, oh, later, like the darkest joke in the movie.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Tighe: Holy shit. Uh, like the one that got me. She'd do anything for attention to just like casually drop that line and saying like, yeah, Pamela killed.
Laura: It's so, it's so offhand. M like, oh, we have to go to London. Why are you going to London? We have to go to Pamela's funeral.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: It just doesn't register. Like, oh, it's a thing we have to go do. It's so cruel.
Laura: Hot day. I just don't even want to go.
Renee: She lived with them for months.
Tighe: It's pretty bad. That's ah, like one of those moments where you just really get to see their character.
Laura: So we have the first, and I'm stealing from your notes, Renee. The first dictates, right? Where you have these beautiful people, you have, uh, what is her name? Venetia Felix Farley. And Oliver. And Oliver's kind of walking to them and they're in that field and it's so beautiful. And you're the beautiful light. And they go, what does he say? No trunks allowed in the field. And so Oliver's got a d pants and fairly says it, right? He goes like, good for you. Yeah.
Renee: He takes off his pants and then he says, good for you. And someone else says, well, that was a twist.
Laura: What a twist. Because that's his last name. That's what I wrote. And I couldn't read it. Huh. Because in the dark theater it looks like I wrote what a heist. Which is kind of a weird thing. But it says twist.
Renee: So you assume that's going to be a big pants.
Laura: That's going to be an acceptable thing to check out later. And it is. Um, so I love this scene because it's this montage. And you get this beautiful summertime friendship montage of just relaxation and reading Harry Potter and smoking cigarettes and drinking drinks.
Renee: Playing tennis in fancy clothes, uh, in.
Laura: Formal wear, drinking bottles of probably very expensive, like, actual champagne, not prosecco.
Tighe: Yeah.
Renee: I just want to live that for.
Laura: Like, I know, I don't know, three to four days. That's my dream. This is like the call me by your name montage where call me by your name is like a whole, like the whole movie is that. But it's more attainable. So you have the attainable call me by your name thing where you have just like a house you could probably rent with some friends. You have a little pool you can ride, know, and then you have this, which is unattainable because you can't rent a stately home with your friends and hang out by the pool in the pond. I enjoyed this whole montage very much.
Tighe: I mean, technically, Summer Chanel did do it. She did.
Ryan: Exactly. Yeah.
Renee: Uh, she did rent the massive fuck off castle.
Laura: The massive fuck off castle.
Renee: They had another pretty montage in the beginning that I liked when it was like a party friendship montage as well, that I enjoyed.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Renee: It was two really good time montages in this movie.
Laura: Good time, sexy friends, usually pretty sweaty montages.
Tighe: Yeah. It made me want to be, like a young person in England, the way that spaced and other tv things did. I want to be a young person in England from 1995 to 2005.
Ryan: The minute you said I was like, why would you want. Why English of all things?
Tighe: Well, I don't know.
Laura: Well, the way that they make it in this film looks great.
Tighe: Yeah. It's just like, yeah, you're in like, a place. You're parting in a place that's like hundreds.
Dancing with Destiny: Unveiling the Rhythms of Fate
Tighe: Years old. It's always, like, some weird, like, wine cellar or something, like, drinking beers. There's probably ecstasy. Around the next morning, everyone's drinking a leukazade, trying to get back to real life. Everyone's chain smoking, which I fucking love in theory. You know what I mean? Absolutely.
Laura: It always looks so hot, and it doesn't matter. Everything we know now, it doesn't matter.
Renee: I don't agree.
Laura: Smell. No.
Tighe: Act is terrible. I don't want to do it. It's awful.
Laura: Makes me look so good.
Tighe: Yeah, no, I hate it.
Laura: It's disgusting.
Tighe: If you actually enter me in that scenario, two puffs. I'm like, nope, I'm out of here. This fucking sucks. Why are we doing this? But it looks great.
Ryan: I remember smoking cigarettes and having a fantastic time. See, Ryan knows what sucks.
Tighe: Ryan knows what the fuck is.
Laura: But that's still what I want to do. I still want one of my birthdays to be, like, the call me by your name. We're, like, in France, or we go to Italy, and we have a house, and we have wine, and I'm smoking cigarettes, but I don't even want to actually smoke them. I just want to be around holding it.
Renee: We got to bring our formal wear, and the property needs a tennis court because I'm into that part of the fantasy.
Tighe: I will say if I'm going to smoke a cigarette, it needs to either be one accompanied by sweaty dancing and beer or even better, a true Jim jar mush style diner coffee. Uh, like a Jim jar mush or, like, mesh or, like, David lynch, like, pure, like, 03:00 a.m.. Uh, just chain smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee like you're 19 again.
Laura: Mine's, like, by the pool. By the pool. Really hot. I've got a large glass of wine.
Tighe: What pies do you, me, and Ryan. This may be, like, a boys versus girl thing, because I think me and Ryan are vibing away, and you all are vibing.
Laura: I need them to be Virginia slims.
Ryan: Oof.
Laura: I want to thin one cloves.
Renee: Do I have to smoke cigarettes at all?
Laura: You can smoke cloves.
Renee: Thank you.
Ryan: I used to smoke golden, uh, Virginia.
Tighe: Tobacco is, like, a Virginia tobacco still, like, a thing in England. Is that, like, a cool thing? The whole reason we exist?
Ryan: It was what was called golden Virginia. That's what I remember.
Tighe: The first cigarettes I smoked were a pack of Virginia slims 100s that I stole from my grandfather's wife. We weren't allowed to call her my grandmother.
Laura: Those were the thin ones, right?
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: The hundreds. They were long and thin.
Laura: Long and thin.
Tighe: They were long and thin.
Laura: My coworker at, uh, Barnes, uh, and noble had them 100s. I'd always take them. And I'm like, these are so gross.
Tighe: Yeah. They were like, quote unquote a lady cigarette. Like, lady smoked under or were longer.
Laura: I thought those looked cool. Renee's like.
Tighe: Renee's like, wrap up the cigarette talk, y'all.
Laura: Disgusting.
Ryan: Slender.
Laura: She's like, I can smell you all in theory. And I'm so grossed out.
Ryan: I mean, if you're buying slender cigarettes. I used to roll quite slender cigarettes. And my big, chunky fingers.
Moving on.
Laura: There is this moment, uh, that you can't help but kind of connect to the shining, obviously, because you have a hedge maze. And Oliver goes. And he has that really cool diagram that I love, this wooden diagram of the maze. And, you know, he memorized that shit. You know, he knows exactly how to get in and out of that maze, but it's got those cool metal balls, and you can kind of figure out your way in and out of the maze. And that's where Duncan comes in, and he's like, oh, basically, get the hell out of. Yeah.
Renee: Like, it's a room in the. Like, why can't he look supposed to be in? Like, that thing was made for touching.
Laura: It was.
Renee: Yeah. That whole thing. I want to be like, fuck off, Duncan.
Laura: I know. Seriously.
Renee: He's actually enjoying the things of this place.
Laura: Get your cheek fillers out of here and let me look at the maze. Um, but there's. Right after that is the scene where I think he's back in his bedroom. But there's that wallpaper, and it just looks like the shining. It's not exactly like a, uh, replica from the shining, but it just kind of reminds me, like, you go from looking at a maze, a hedge maze, and then you have this wallpaper. I don't know if you notice. It was like, that orange and red in those kind of blocky squares. Just reminded me a lot of the shining, essentially. Just a bit.
Ryan: Well, I remember the bit in the shining, and I like the bit in the shining where he's looking at the. Jack's looking at the model of the maze.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: And then it's like you see an overhead shot, and it cuts back to his face, and he's all fucked up. And he's looking back. He's looking back down at the diagram. But it's not the diagram. It's just an overhead shot of the actual maze as they are going through it.
Laura: Yeah, I'm sure Emerald didn't traumatize everyone as much as Stanley did during that.
Ryan: How do you know? How do you know? You never know.
Laura: It looks like they're all still best friends.
Ryan: I don't know. The shining is still a good film.
Laura: Have you seen sweet Shelly long?
Ryan: Come on.
Laura: Having a hard time?
Ryan: I don't know. I don't know. I mean, she was also in paw pie, which you can still go to.
Tighe: That set by the.
Laura: That's in Greece, right?
Ryan: Baltimore still exists? Yeah.
Laura: Uh, go to there. My friend went, that nightmare.
Tighe: Oh, yeah, absolutely. But it's beautiful set design. Beautiful. Yeah. My friend went. Said it's just as weird.
Laura: Can we go to Waterworld as well? Is that still there? Oh, Renee's got a funny.
Renee: Just basically, it's like when other people say things, I'm like, look, I did severe at that too.
Laura: I notice a lot of letterbox reviews and it's mostly like, the bathtub is rivaling the peach in call me by your name.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: And I'm like, not quite, but I love it. I love it. It's gross, it's intimate. And, uh, he gets his tongue right in that hole.
Ryan: He does?
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: Ah. He really kind of does something that's like, yeah, as filthy as things. It made me feel a little bit sick.
Tighe: It would be filthy even without what had come before it. That's just a gross lick. Like drinking bathwater after somebody. Like, beyond the additional. What was in there. That's just gnarly.
Ryan: Anyway, it's like we poop and pee and sweat and stuff. All that shit comes off you and it gathers in the drain plug and he's sticking his tongue against it. All your hair and things. It's fucked up.
Tighe: That's grossing me out more than what he was being implied that he was actually drinking. That's worse to me.
Ryan: That's what it is, though.
Laura: I still think it's really hot and I still liked it a lot. He's perving on him, watching him jerk off in the bathtub and then slurping it up at the end. I was 1000% in.
Renee: I loved every second of it.
Tighe: Great moment. It was wonderful cinema in its truest form.
Laura: Um, so, um, another part that maybe shouldn't have, I shouldn't have thought was as sexy as it is. But the vampire scene.
Tighe: Yeah, but I love, my favorite part of that whole thing is when still in the bathtub, it custard that shot at the very end where he lowers himself into the bathtub and he just fully even under the water has the full red mouth.
Renee: That's thick blood.
Laura: Yeah.
Renee: That needs a little scrubbing to come off.
Laura: That's right.
Tighe: That's my favorite part of that whole thing. It's just like the, quote unquote, um, aftermath.
Renee: I love that he rubs it all over her, too, because he's like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to make you be okay with this kind of thing. Not okay, but I don't know how to say it. Like, deal with it, too.
Laura: Yeah. Because I think you and I, Renee, had a conversation about this that we won't delve into necessarily, um, just about what the fuck? I don't know. Relationships and being at that time of the month and, uh, levels of being comfortable with that type of thing. Right. We don't need to get disgusting about it. And I don't think it's disgusting at all. I'm saying that I like that he's just really jumping into it. You know what I mean?
Renee: He's a vampire.
Laura: Yeah, he's a vampire. She's sitting outside. She obviously is waiting for him to come out, and she's in a see through nightgown. I mean, that's already vampirey.
Renee: That's already, like, I'm asking for a bite. Kind of, uh, activities that you see women do in vampire movies.
Laura: Yeah. Because she's out there and what does he say? Like, oh, you're just standing outside my window in a see through nightgown. And she's like, well, uh, this is my house. I can be wherever I want. He goes, so you want to be outside my window in a see through nightgown? And. Yeah. She's like, it's my time of the month. Best not go downtown.
Renee: What's the practicality of wearing a white nightgown when you're on your period? And obviously there was nothing filling the hole.
Laura: She's, uh, probably a pad person. She's got to be.
Renee: She was wearing underwear, and he just.
Laura: Went through, I think so.
Renee: Okay.
Laura: She's not just free bleeding.
Renee: That's what I'm saying.
Tighe: I think that's what's made it feel like she was just the movie did.
Laura: I immediately thought she's wearing a free, um.
Tighe: Yeah. A lot of people in this room are actual Tom Petty fans, for the record.
Laura: Which is another reason why I think you want to go see that Joel Edgerton rowing movie is because a Tom Petty song is playing.
Renee: Oh, it brainwashed m me brainwashed you?
Ryan: That's exactly what they, uh, the. It was maybe the worst trailer out of the ones that we saw was.
Laura: The rowing boat one, the beekeeper looks amazing.
Renee: So we all agree that the trailer for that, um, mystery. Wait, well, no. Spy.
Laura: Argyle.
Renee: Yeah, Argyle.
Laura: We all agree. That looks awesome. I think it looks awesome. But if they would not do that weird cg cat thing, I would like it a million times more. Yeah, like the comedy cat.
Tighe: And it's got my number two girl, dua Lipa.
Laura: Is she.
Renee: He tells me all the time now.
Tighe: She's my number two.
Laura: Um, why is she popular? Is she a singer? Pop star?
Tighe: You said it. You said it.
Laura: Yes.
Ryan: What are we talking about? Our guy does not. Trailers.
Laura: It looks good. Other than the cat thing. The cat thing is embarrassing.
Ryan: I don't know.
Laura: Uh, coming back to, um, the period vampire scene. In the scene before, you have Felix's mom, like Venetia's mom, talking about how she doesn't eat, she has fingers for pudding, which I think is the funniest way of saying that she's bulimic.
Tighe: Yeah, that took me like, I think that's going to over some americans heads.
Renee: Yeah. I was confused.
Laura: And then she's like, it's not even doing her any good.
Tighe: Yeah, that line is like, holy.
Renee: You can't even notice she's vomiting.
Laura: It's like she still looks the same. It's like, that's pretty funny. Horrible. But then you have Oliver going, you're not taking care of yourself. You're not eating. You're going to sit at the table and you're going to eat with us and you're going to stay at the table. And she's so into it. She goes, yes, I'll do whatever you say. And then he goes, well, I could just eat you. I'm like, yes, tell me more. Um, and then that's when she says, it's like my time of the month. He goes, well, it's lucky that for you that I'm a vampire. I'm, um, going to dig into this. I love it. It's so gross. He gets the fingers in there. He puts his.
Renee: There's like a spit string.
Laura: Yeah. Oh, the spit string in his mouth is.
Renee: Yeah, I have to look away from that a little.
Laura: I don't love that. But it makes you feel something. But he wipes those period blood down her face, down her chest, very into it. But then there's one point where he sticks almost all of his fingers in her mouth. And that happens more than once in this film where someone puts their whole hand and grasps their lower jaw inside of their mouth.
Ryan: Yeah, right.
Laura: She does it to him later in the movie as well. And I'm like, I've never done that ever to anyone. Have you ever stuck all of your fingers inside someone's mouth and pulled their job?
Ryan: I just don't know if my hands going into your mouth is the sexiest thing. Like, my entire hands.
Laura: Depends on context. I mean, as long as you don't put your whole fist in there.
Tighe: That was twice in this movie. One of them is sexy, and the other was definitely not sexy.
Laura: The other one is very threatening.
Ryan: Yeah, we could try it later. I don't know if. Yeah, I don't know. We'll report back to enjoy it.
Tighe: I will say Venetia, I think, is maybe the most tragic or at least the saddest character. She's the most chronically, sort of just, like, melancholy and sad. Everyone else has some source of joy, whether it's being just, like, totally disconnected from reality. She seems just, like, very melancholy her entire life and dies. She's the saddest one to me.
Renee: And she predicts things, too, about them all about to go a little crazy.
Tighe: Because she's more tuned in because she's just, like, sad and actually tuned in instead of just disconnected from everyday reality. Anyway.
Laura: Yeah, it's just a bummer because she didn't. She wouldn't have killed herself.
Tighe: No, but the joy she had eating that croissant, it's the only time you see her truly happy is when he pushes that croissant. No, I'm dead serious. Like, her third bite, she's just like a child given something she's never allowed to get. And then she immediately gets up and.
Renee: Like, yeah, she didn't even listen to the command.
Tighe: She eventually gets up, and she loves that croissant.
Renee: We assume she, they were talking about.
Laura: All the, what is it? The guys that are coming, like, they have a bunch of people coming to dinner.
Renee: The Henry.
Laura: Uh, the Henry's. Yeah, all the Henry's coming to dinner. She goes, well, you're going to seat me next to the one Henry that molests people, and they're like, oh, Will, sit next to Oliver, and he can molest you. And now she's eating that croissant. I'm also usually pretty happy eating a croissant. I know you are, Ryan.
Ryan: I do like, yeah, they're one of my favorite pastry, uh, items.
Laura: Yeah, croissants are delicious.
Ryan: Yeah, I will. Sugar.
Tighe: Sugar.
Renee: Could you imagine waking up every morning and having a full breakfast just ready, waiting for you? Like they do in this more so.
Tighe: Having to go to what a dream. But you have to go to it. It's like it's at 730 or 08:00.
Laura: I doubt it's at 730.
Renee: They seem like knowing 09:00 a.m. Breakfast people.
Laura: I did nine to ten.
Tighe: Yeah, you're right.
Ryan: Yeah. I couldn't do a full breakfast like that, uh, every morning. I couldn't do that.
Laura: Well, Ryan, you don't have to. Ryan, only the eggs.
Tighe: Only the eggs are made. Yeah, everything else is on the side, buddy.
Ryan: Yeah, but I can't eat eggs.
Laura: Whatever.
Tighe: Then great. Then you just go to the side.
Laura: Sausage, toast.
Tighe: As little or as one? As much as you want.
Laura: Little bit of sausage, some tomatoes and potatoes. Oh, potatoes.
Ryan: Square sausage.
Tighe: Yeah, but they have to get dressed to go to like lightly. You have to lightly get dressed. But yeah, it's just like.
Ryan: Mhm.
Renee: You can wear athleisure. Venetia does.
Tighe: Yeah, I guess it's true. I don't know, not for me. I wasn't built for it.
Laura: I might try to get her whole outfit that when she was playing tennis in to wear.
Tighe: So good. And she has the pigtails too.
Laura: A lot of people have such big hair. She has to have. That's some of it's got to be fake. Yeah.
Renee: Extensions for sure.
Laura: Yeah. Nice and thick. So they have to plan Oliver's birthday party, right? And they go at least 100, but inevitably 200 people will show up, right.
Tighe: That's like a huge wedding. Just like for reference, you know what I mean? That's a massive wedding to have 200 people, let alone just a party.
Laura: Um, but this is where you get to see Richard E. Grant being almost his most cutest.
Tighe: He's so happy wearing that armor.
Laura: Wearing that.
Tighe: Just weird. Only top part armor. He's having such a nice time.
Ryan: Well, I love the fact that he's decided what he's going to wear at the party. And you're like, he's coming in armor. And I'm like, what kind of armor is it going to be? And it's Roman.
Renee: He didn't care what the theme was. When she said it was going to be a theme party, he was like.
Laura: I'm wearing the armor. We're doing midsummer night stream. Does that have anything to do with it? No, but that's cool. Yeah, why not?
Tighe: Loved it.
Laura: Oh, the other thing he did that was cute that we didn't talk about was the karaoke party.
Ryan: That's it.
Tighe: The party, yeah.
Laura: No, the karaoke party is like way earlier.
Ryan: Oh, there's the dinner with the Henry's, right?
Laura: Yeah.
Renee: With the Henry's.
Ryan: Yeah. They do the. Oh, my gosh, they do the karaoke. Yeah. We don't have to talk about everything. I know, but, uh, yes, the hand job. When's the hand job?
Laura: The Farley hand job. He spits in his hand. It's in your notes.
Ryan: It is?
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: That's all the notes in your manic notes.
Renee: That was a hand job.
Laura: Yeah, it was just for lube.
Renee: Even though everyone thinks I don't give hand jobs, I can recognize a hand job when I see.
Tighe: What happened with the mirror, by the way, what happened with the mirror?
Renee: Was that symbolic for something?
Tighe: Did it even happen? Because the next morning they just give him that one thing where he just touches the frame and it's like they got that mirror replaced his mind.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: I think it was just implying it was just in his head.
Ryan: What was the head butler's name?
Laura: Duncan.
Ryan: Duncan. He probably did it. Yeah, probably did it.
Tighe: When you see that, to me, the first time I watched it, I was like, oh, he's going to pull that piece of glass on him. You know what.
Renee: I thought too?
Tighe: Yeah. When the first time I saw it, I was like, oh, he's going to threaten him. And then it takes a totally different turn with the hand. Yeah.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: I liked that scene too. That was another sexy, a.
Renee: Even the Farley, um, Oliver relationship seems like it goes from hate to like, oh, I don't know, not love, but hate to sex. The lines are blurred if you are interested in someone or you also hate them, but either way you want to.
Tighe: I think it goes back to that kind of idol. Rich being bored people are only for entertainment. In that moment, you're like, well, there's nothing more entertaining.
Laura: Well, that's. Yeah. Also in that karaoke scene, what does he say? Like, um, let it rain, mary, fuck or ditch was something like that. And he was like, richard II, henry VI. And I can't remember the other one.
Ryan: Like charles II or something. Then he was like, well, charles II is what we have right now.
Laura: Yeah. I don't think he'd be in a portrait on the wall.
Ryan: Sausage fingers. Yeah.
Laura: But he was like, oh, well, I would fuck Richard II because he would probably give it his all because he's a little bit like, I don't, like, embarrassed.
Ryan: Yeah, he said he was, um, uh.
Laura: A little insecure, so we might give it his all. But that's when Oliver is like, well, instead of him, maybe you can fuck me. And I'm like, oh, boy, I'm trying to remember. But I think that might be the first time we were like, you're. You're trying to do something. Or it might be when Felix found out, fairly told him that he was doing the vampire with his sister. And I'm like, okay, now you can see the wheels turning. You can see the game starting to come together, where he's not all passive, like, it's all quite aggressive, everything he's doing. And you don't really realize it.
Tighe: Do we kind of skip over the scene with them on? We kind of talked about it where him and Rosamund pike are just, like, talking at sunset, and she's wearing that purple gown and she has the greatest line. But we didn't say the line, though.
Laura: I was lesbian once.
Ryan: Oh, dear.
Laura: But it was all a bit too.
Renee: Wet for me in the end. And men are just so lovely and dry.
Tighe: Lovely and dry.
Laura: So lovely and dry. That is amazing.
Tighe: She's so good in this.
Renee: I mean, she also uses in that when they're talking about Venetia, she calls her sexually incontinent.
Ryan: Huh.
Renee: Which I also love.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: Oh, did she?
Tighe: I didn't catch that.
Renee: She's sexually incontinent. Yeah, we did already talk about this because we talked about the bulimia thing.
Tighe: Yeah, we kind of talked about that. And not, like, other dialogue exchange.
Renee: Yeah. That whole thing was like, that whole back and forth. So calculated, so interesting and also so funny.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: He gets her in that scene. That's where Oliver.
Renee: He won her over. Yeah.
Laura: Well, also because he said, well, um, it must be hard for Venetia with you as her mother. And she's like, why? And he, like, it's so uncomfortable because he goes, it's because you're so fucking beautiful. And there's just that beat.
Tighe: And it works. She's like, loves the flattery. There's a really sick moment. You're like, ooh, someone's not healthy.
Laura: Yeah.
It is finally Oliver's birthday, and it is the morning of his birthday party with 200 guests. Midsummer night's dream. And Felix, the best friend, decides to take him on a road trip. And you don't know where they're going. Um, and Oliver had set up during this whole situation that he was the son of two drug addict parents, and he had no siblings, and he was poor, and the dad had died while dead. M and the mom, Oliver's, uh, mom had been calling him. And I guess Oliver had left his phone in the bathroom, and Felix answered it one day. So he took it upon himself to mend their relationship and take him home on the morning of his birthday. Um, which is interesting, Ryan, because you said that you felt like you knew the whole time.
Ryan: Yeah, I felt like he was lying because it was too over the top. And I was kind of just like. I was a little bit felt misled by the tone of the film as well, until we finally get to Saltburn. So, yeah, I did think he was lying the entire time. It didn't make any sense to me, the idea of him being dumb. But then he was also able to go to Oxford. Like, it didn't make any sense to me. That was kind of how it felt. Incredibly calculated, all the things that he was doing. So that was why that was all.
Renee: At what point do you think Felix was like, he didn't know going into the drive? Right. He didn't know lie until I think the mom's like, oh, your dad's in the garden.
Laura: Yes.
Renee: And then I think even crashing down.
Laura: Seeing the house, he was, like, questionable.
Tighe: You see, when he pulls in, he's just like.
Laura: He wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe that his friend that we led into his life was telling the truth.
Tighe: Man, when it cuts from the front door to them, like, mid conversation, he plays it so great. Just, like, unhinged. No, no, we're going to fucking do, like we're in here. I'm going to make you squirm as much as I can, and I'm going to uncomfortably laugh through it. Oh, no. Take a pill. Hang out. We're going to fucking be here because I know you're.
Laura: Ollie, take a pill. Sit down. We're having spag bowl.
Tighe: Exactly.
Laura: They decorated. They had, like.
Tighe: She made a cake.
Laura: Oh, she made a cake.
Tighe: It was so sweet.
Renee: They were the sweetest parents, sisters, multiple.
Tighe: Sisters that he was just, like, had one or nothing to do with.
Laura: Um, and they're just so apologetic for him. The parents are like, oh, well, he might not have mentioned it because he's so busy with all of the lies. He's also told us about his school time, how he's on, uh, crew.
Tighe: Yeah, he's a scholar.
Laura: Yeah, that was painful.
Ryan: Even with all of that going on. The minute she mentioned spagball, I'd be like, yeah, uh, you know, this is going to be okay. I like spaghetti.
Tighe: Please, Ryan, enlighten the american viewers who might not know what spag bowl is.
Ryan: Spag bowl, spaghetti bolognaise. We just abbreviated it to spag bowl. Makes it easier, I guess.
Laura: It's such a common, delicious dish that everyone makes all the spaghetti with meat.
Ryan: Sauce for some people, spaghetti bolognaise. Nice red sauce with mints and mushrooms. And you put parmesan cheese on the top of it. Yum, yum. But also, spag ball was kind of like the general term for it. So even if you weren't having spaghetti, I still called it spag ball when it had, like, Penny. Penny.
Tighe: What the hell's Perry? Penny.
Laura: Penny. Uh, pasta with red. Penny's not Penny's boat.
Ryan: Lynn Gawini.
Laura: Isn't that a lost reference? Anyway?
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: Well done, Laura.
Ryan: Wow.
Tighe: Taking us way back.
Laura: I would watch lost.
Ryan: How many fucking references. These are all 2000s references as well.
Tighe: Yeah, we're in a zone.
Laura: Yeah. Right. Pop culture, the early 2000s.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: So obviously, um, things are going to break down because he's lied the whole time. And how do you get back from that, when they get back? How uncomfortable that drive home would have been as well.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: Because it's like 3 hours.
Laura: Yeah. We looked it up right around how far it would have. Oh, I guess from Oxford to Prescott.
Renee: Was like, uh, 3 hours.
Laura: So I don't know exactly. We don't really know the location because Liverpool is up.
Renee: It was several hours, I think. Yeah, it vibed that way.
Laura: So they get back and it is kind of getting dark already for the party. And I feel like Felix gives him the. He gives him the opportunity. I feel like he really does give him a good chance to explain himself. And he doesn't. He can't. He's just like, I just wanted to be your friend. You should understand. And he does a shit job of explaining himself. It's awful. He had all that time in the car to probably explain what happened. I assume. Because. I assume he wouldn't have said shit because it's terrifying. Um, but, yeah, he doesn't.
Ryan: It's all part of the master plan, though. I don't think it is.
Renee: Oh, no. Yeah.
Tighe: We all did the one thing. That's the one thing out of his control.
Laura: I don't think that he, in the whole movie, had an understanding of the consequences. I felt like he was expecting to glide through the whole situation.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: And I think he had many plans. That's just conjecture. I'm just thinking. I think one of the first plans was to get with Venetia. You know what I mean? M and then you have your. In there into Saltburn. But then that didn't work out with Felix, so then he had to dump her and then find another. Just my.
Ryan: I don't know.
Renee: I don't even know that he wanted Saltburn until a little bit later. That's just my maybe.
Ryan: I think it was like, oh, he doesn't know if he wanted it until it was on the horizon that he.
Laura: Could get it or until it was going to get taken.
Renee: Um, I mean, now I'm jumping ahead, but at the party, when Farley shows up at his birthday party, to me, that's the moment where he decides he wants Saltburn, because he already understands that Felix, uh, is done with him. Nothing bad's happened yet, but he understands that Felix is over him. And then Farley gives him that speech about how this can never be his. And I think in his head, he's probably now I want it.
Laura: Yeah, I think this isn't your home. This is a story you're going to tell your fat.
Ryan: Uh.
Tighe: Oh, yeah, no, he says it. Yeah, I didn't catch it the first time, but, yeah, Farley's speech is super mean.
Laura: It's great.
Renee: So mean. Farley is so good at being mean.
Laura: So good. And he's so beautiful. He's so pretty. Uh, and he's just really scary.
Renee: But also, they're in competition. They're the same role in this household. They are like the more common person that can amuse them.
Tighe: It's their song. Pet shop boys. Uh, that song is their song, remember?
Laura: Oh, yeah, exactly. They shared the song at the karaoke.
Tighe: Is your song too, Farley? Yeah, I like that moment.
Laura: That was really good.
Renee: Uh, but Farley, man, he can karaoke.
Tighe: He can.
Renee: So it's like you play how someone could badly sing that, and it's, like, taken really poorly. And then if you just bring in some charisma and some step and dance moves, then you own it. And it's not. Absolutely.
Laura: Yeah.
Tighe: That's a lovely moment in the Farley. Their little tet artetes that they do.
Ryan: How does Richard E. Grant refer to the karaoke?
Laura: Oh, right, the joke. I kept repeating it in the car on the way home.
Tighe: What does he say?
Laura: Um, because Oliver goes up, he goes, well, I don't know the words to this song. And Richard E. Grant's like, oh, but that's the best part about it, is that the words are on the screen. What else does he say? I had the whole thing earlier and I forgot.
Ryan: That's the best bit.
Laura: That's the best bit. That's the best bit.
Ryan: You put an accent on, and.
Laura: He'S so cute.
Tighe: Yeah.
Laura: Watch. Everything Richard E. Grand has ever done, everybody. How to get ahead in advertising with Nolan, I. Literally everything he's done, uh, he is a national treasure.
I've got more to say about that, because you have that giant minotaur statue with a big dick in the middle of the maze.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: And it's, like, mossy or something. What was its design? Was it just overgrown?
Laura: Because its hands are all cured.
Tighe: Yeah, but then that thing, it looks like they were letting go because there's moss on. When Felix having sex with that girl on covered in moss, you can see it better then. But, yeah, it's like, strangely, they're just letting it go.
Ryan: I think I thought the minotaur was holding the head or something.
Laura: All I saw was the dick. I saw the dick.
Renee: I saw the horns, antlers.
Tighe: There's another one in the background, and.
Renee: I saw m. What I thought. But I also.
Ryan: Because that's weird. That's what Laura said to me when I first met her as well.
Laura: Yeah, that's all I could see.
Ryan: All I saw was the dick and the horns. And the horns.
Laura: We played a game when we first met, and it really stood out to me.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: But it's very. Remember, your highness, that ridiculous.
Ryan: What you thought about that ridiculous film.
Laura: With, um, James Franco and, um.
Ryan: Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Laura: What's his name? He's so funny. Danny.
Ryan: Danny McBride.
Laura: McBride. Do you know that movie? Natalie Portman?
Tighe: Yes.
Laura: That movie is very funny. I don't give a shit what anyone says.
Ryan: It's funny.
Laura: You had the big minotaur garbage dick that's chasing them around in the dungeon. Do you remember that? So scary. Doesn't he take the dick. He cuts his dick off. Okay, renee, you got to see that movie if you.
Renee: Yeah, I don't think I have. Um.
Laura: I saw it in the theater. It was a riot.
Renee: Am I the only one that got more Harry Potter vibes when they were in the maze and he's dead, and then the dad's there. He's crying over. Yeah, my boy.
Laura: Where's your jumper, my boy?
Ryan: Oh, my.
Laura: Dude. No. Harry Potter's way sadder.
Ryan: Yeah, it is, my boy.
Laura: And they're playing the horns, dude. You can play that over the scene if you want.
Tighe: Somebody's going to do that on the Internet, for sure.
Laura: Oliver and Felix have their kind of, which we don't know at the time, their final blowout. Kind of where Oliver's really trying to get. Like, he's trying to reason with him. Like, this is why I did this. It's because I love you so much. Doesn't it show how much I love you? Don't you understand? And then Felix says something like, you make my blood run cold. Ah. Which his sister did say earlier in the movie, we are cold blooded people. Uh, but, um, it's really kind of sad, but yeah, it pretty much cuts from that right to.
Well, Oliver's kind of up all night and then wakes up to Rossam and Pike screaming, essentially.
Renee: Everyone looking for.
Laura: Everyone looking for Felix. They're in the lake or in the pond, searching the pond, I believe, in.
Tighe: Given that moment where he comes in and Duncan sees him and there's that moment where, you know, Duncan's like, you fucking did this. Yeah, like, Duncan's like Duncan.
Laura: They know. They said it early in the movie, too. They mean we've seen Downton Abbey. They know.
Tighe: Yeah, exactly.
Laura: They know. Um, he's straight, dead right by the statue. So whatever he put in the bottle, which that comes later, but whatever happened really fast.
Ryan: Yeah, I wonder what did he put in the bowl?
Laura: I have no idea. Fentanyl, maybe?
Renee: I would guess something like, what can.
Laura: You get in 2007 to murder someone? Fentanyl.
Tighe: Back then, it could have been a lot of cocaine.
Renee: Yeah. Everyone's doing lines and I.
Laura: The only drug we really saw that was.
Tighe: That's the only thing that makes me think it was like.
Renee: And to me, I would just not be suspicious of a drug test if it came back with something more deadly like fentanyl, because that's sometimes in other drugs.
Tighe: But again, that's how he gets rid of Farley. The that's true for true, though, because he's like you guys were doing.
Laura: Lying. And I would be suspicious of which.
Tighe: That'S what makes sense, that his toxicology for it's going to come back.
Renee: How much would you have to put.
Tighe: In to just chug it down?
Ryan: A lot.
Renee: Because he only had, like, a few sips of it. Even if you had that strong.
Laura: Even if you had that tiny vial. Vial. That's not enough to murder. That's not enough to kill somebody.
Renee: It's fentanyl. Something like morphine or fentanyl.
Ryan: Uh, I thought it was like poison. It was missing the two x's and a skull on it, basically. That's why I just kind of thought it was.
Laura: I mean, I'll play with the film. Like, I don't care. Yeah, it doesn't matter to me that much at all.
Ryan: I didn't have any issues with that.
Laura: I'm down with it could have been anything, but. Yeah, but at this point, there are questions as to the deaths of this family and the questions pertaining to why is this happening? Who's been around.
Ryan: Mhm.
Laura: And how did this happen? That whole having lunch after Felix died is so funny to me.
Tighe: There's so many good bits. I love this weird, horrible, terrible cold pie. They just made it look so unappetizing.
Laura: Yeah, very, um, beige.
Tighe: Oh, yeah, so beige. And then everyone's draped in red after they manage to close the curtains.
Laura: Ah.
Renee: Blowing her wine glass. I've seen, um, upset women do that before. Drunk upset.
Laura: She like, pours it all, spills all over her shirt. But I like that. Even when they're still with the body by the Minotaur statue and the mom's like, we would just leave this. It's almost lunch. It's lunchtime and everyone's like on the floor crying. Um, that's wild shit. But yeah, that whole lunch scene is really good. They're almost vomiting. You can hear the coroner, like, wheeling the body away. And Duncan keeps coming in and asking questions. I'm like, duncan, just take over the situation. You don't need to ask if the gardener can help show the coroner out of the maze. Just do it.
Renee: Duncan's upset too.
Laura: Of course he's upset.
Renee: He doesn't know what to do. He's looking for comfort as well.
Laura: Okay, well, let's see.
Renee: Yeah, Duncan seems more affected than some of the other people. Like, um, the parents.
Laura: Yeah, it's interesting because they keep kind of bringing up how upset Oliver was. But you only see it when he's know, like, um.
Renee: Because that's not what the parents like. He's trying to charm them and they want comfort and normalcy. So if he can play like everything's normal too, it comforts them and it makes them warm around more.
Tighe: Just them talking about how the cake was good and not coily sweet.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: So uncomfortable.
Laura: Oh, and it's just a shame how you don't even get to have a cake at a party because you're just running around.
Tighe: That's always the way, isn't it?
Laura: That's just how it is. Everyone's just like, I can't eat. I'm going to vomit. But, yeah, but that is how he gets, um, Ferrelli in the end, bringing up the cocaine.
Ryan: Times new Roman.
Tighe: Love that. For the record, my answer, hold avenue.
Laura: Before you even get to times new Roman, we have to talk about the grave. I remember when we were watching that, um, I love that, um, I wrote my notes, grave. On the next page I wrote, the music stops when he's fucking the grave.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: There's that music and it's so loud and it's so intense you can see him crying, but you can't hear anything. You just see him kind of like shuddering and shaking about. He's laying and it's just that wide shot and it's mostly sky.
Ryan: Mhm.
Laura: And he's just on the ground. The grave, on the grave, rubbing the grave. And then he starts taking his clothes off. And then the music stops and it's only the rain and him sobbing and then him taking his pants off, I hope I'm not going too fast. And then sticks his dick in the ground.
Ryan: It's a really long, um, wide shot that kind of goes on for fair amount of time. So when it does escalate, you're just kind of like, all right, okay. We're going through a whole gamut of emotions at this point.
Laura: You leaned over to me during that, Ryan, and you go, is this the dick scene?
Ryan: Is that it?
Renee: And that's why I thought the first time I watched it, see the side of it, I was like, wow, that's like, that's all we're going to.
Ryan: No, no.
Renee: I mean, it was a great scene.
Laura: It is a great.
Renee: But it wasn't a great viewing of.
Laura: The penis because you think about, I don't know, I can't compare that to anything I've really seen before. And I appreciate that. That was pretty dark for that moment.
Ryan: Though, I don't think.
Laura: Also hot.
Ryan: Yeah. I don't think we're not going to have any kind of, uh, definitive time codes at this moment because Saltburn's obviously still in the cinema.
Laura: I'll do my best.
Ryan: Yes, we'll try.
Laura: Um, but, yeah, times new Roman. That is a really sad moment, though, when they're all kind of back in the library where they had been watching the ring and had been watching, um, superbad. And they're just talking about how conventional the priest was and how his middle name was river, and we never knew that before. And he was making fun of them naming him river and his middle name.
Ryan: Well, Rosamund pike has that really kind of stark moment where she's like, yeah, I never thought I'd have a child. And then I'd have to decide what I was going to have to put on its headstone.
Laura: I mean, it is funny also. Like, it's horrible and funny.
Ryan: It's, uh, the way that she delivers it in that it's like, good golly, did you realize I would have to do that? That was crazy.
Laura: Well, then the design of it and talking about the font, and then Oliver goes, what font did you pick?
Tighe: I know, I love that.
Laura: Perks up a bit. She goes, oh, times new Roman seemed like a good fit. It's like, oh, yeah, that is a good choice. It's a great choice.
Then you have that kind of final moment with Venetia. Ah. Where she's now in their shared bathroom. Know, you saw Felix jerking off multiple times and the tub sucking scene. And she's in there taking a bath herself. And, um, also the scene where you saw post.
Renee: Um, vampire lips.
Laura: Vampire lips. And she finally is catching on to his game, and she's calling him out. She called him a moth. I love that. I love everything she says. It's so, um, scathing. Yeah. Oh, my dad called you Spiderman because you're just, like, spinning your webs, your spidery, olivery web. She's like, no, you're a moth because you're just, like, tapping at the glass, attracted to shiny, bright things, and you're just nothing. You're nothing. Which is probably the worst thing he ever would want to hear. That's the opposite of anything. He wants to be because he wants to be.
Tighe: Yep.
Ryan: But he gets her back, though, almost.
Laura: Immediately gets her back.
Ryan: He's evil as fuck. He's horrible.
Laura: She said, you just ate him up. Like, talking about Felix, you just ate him up and you licked the plate. And I'm like, yes, you did.
Ryan: M. Um, then he fucking destroyed her.
Laura: Well, yeah, but that's the point where you finally. It all comes together, where he. I think this is kind of when he starts laying out his plan. Like, all right, she said this horrible shit to me. She put her fingers in my mouth. I put the razor blades by the tub. She's dead. Another funeral. And then it just kind of like the whole plan gets laid out, the villain's evil plan. Um, you kind of see him becoming.
Renee: More intertwined with the family because he gets to come to the rock throwing in the river with her death. But he didn't get to go to Felix's.
Laura: Yeah, you're right, because Duncan's holding the umbrellas like this.
Renee: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, my gosh.
Renee: Yeah. So he didn't get to come to. He just watched from afar for Felix's rock throwing and then hers. He gets to be there. So it's like, oh, you really are getting in there.
Laura: And it almost seems like immediately after that is when Richard E. Grant's like.
Tighe: All right, how much to leave?
Laura: You got to go.
Renee: He already knew something was up with Oliver. He was the one calling him a spider, right?
Tighe: Calling him a spider.
Laura: No, I thought he said dad. I thought she goes, you know what dad calls you?
Renee: Was it timestamped, like the year came.
Laura: On the screen or the year was in the newspaper when you saw that.
Renee: The papa died and give it to me again.
Laura: What year was it? 2022. Wow.
Renee: So, like, basically current day? Yeah, almost. Um, I didn't realize that. I'm bad at sometimes noticing, like, he's.
Laura: Like, our age now.
Ryan: Wow.
Laura: So he really waited, like a Google.
Renee: Alert set up and that's what she said. I'm a surprised he waited that long.
Ryan: Me too.
Laura: Now that I understand.
Renee: Yeah.
Laura: He knew exactly where to be. He was probably following where she was as well.
Ryan: Exactly.
Tighe: That's why he knew she had just bought a flat around the corner. He's just going to hang out in some kind of, like, coffee shop or something.
Laura: Long game worked. He had enough money, I'm sure.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: And again, he was at Oxford.
Ryan: Sure.
Tighe: He finished it and whatever money he got from them. I'd, um, be surprised if he didn't finish his degree and have a reasonable job that whole time, too.
Laura: Yeah. She looks so great. I would have courted her as well.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: I mean, I was going to say she looks no different 15 years later, but that's kind of true. I think about her, like, 25 years later and let go, and she kind of looks the same.
Laura: The only thing that's different about him is that he was wearing a tighter shirt.
Tighe: Uh, yeah, he's showing off his because.
Laura: Uh, he already had a body.
The body is the same body the whole time. The face is always a little too old to be, uh, a boy.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: Anytime they did close ups on any of their faces, I was like, oh, you're much older than you're playing, but I love it. I'm fine.
Renee: You're all hot, but you are older than you are not.
Laura: Or 19.
Tighe: Oh, Lordy's got to be kind of close to that age.
Laura: I think he's pretty young.
Tighe: Yeah, I think he is.
Laura: He's like, in his mid twenty s, I think.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: Yeah. He's got to be like Barry.
Tighe: Barry's got to be 30.
Laura: Yeah. I'm not totally sure, but I think so.
Ryan: He had a baby. He had a baby and he's got babies at home.
Tighe: Um, we're basically at the end.
Ryan: Yeah, the ending, or at least like the last kind of third of the movie. Kind of. I think it goes at a bit of a bricknake pace. Um, because we do jump forward, obviously, quite a few years, and then he's there, he meets her, and then they're in a relationship together, effectively.
Laura: I wish I would have seen more.
Renee: Come on, give me at least a little smooch.
Tighe: Yeah, I mean, you say the last third, it's like 10th. Yeah, it's like a danuma, almost like it's like a weird, like peaks. And then it just immediately starts. They wrap up the movie peaking and wrapping up.
Ryan: Yeah. Because my main thing was, to me, it felt like the film almost felt like it was trying to end like two or three different times. So like, him at the grave is like one, um, him lying on top of her after he's ripped out her fucking ventilator too, from her throat.
Laura: What did you call that? Renee? Uh, he excavated her.
Renee: Okay.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: So it's like you're saying it's like a, uh, return of the king situation.
Ryan: Kinda.
Tighe: I did not get that.
Laura: A more condensed return of the didn't I didn't feel the issues that they.
Ryan: Have with Return of the king, though, is there's too many fade to blacks. If they just cut, then it would have been fine. Do not too many fades.
Laura: Return of the kring. Don't do it.
Tighe: Not in a safe space.
Ryan: Perfect. They should have had a word with.
Laura: Their editor, Gandalf Frodo.
Ryan: He doesn't say Legolas's name either.
Tighe: Yes, I know.
Laura: He just gives him a cute look.
Ryan: Game Lee fucking.
Laura: We're on track to watch that, like next week.
Ryan: We are.
Renee: We're on two towers special part of the movie.
Laura: Yes. Thank you, Renee. See, Renee should be the host of this podcast. I need to step away because she keeps us on track.
Because we need to talk about the dick scene, which is the end of the movie. This. I don't have a timestamp just yet because I got too excited and I forgot to time my phone. And the first time we saw the film, when Renee and ty and I went, the film stopped, like in the middle of this one dinner scene for 20 minutes and the whole cinema shut down and no one knew how to start the movie. And then it eventually started again. This time it was smooth sailing. Um, but it's about 2 hours. Something around there. It's the end of the movie. Who cares? I'll get it eventually.
Renee: The end.
Ryan: It's like 2 hours, ten minutes.
Laura: Like I said earlier, the reverse of when Oliver first arrives at saltburn. So when he walks through, um, and gets introduced, this is all the way backwards, right to the front. And gosh, I mean, we can all just jump in.
Renee: I think he's dancing.
Laura: He's dancing. That song. Who's the singer Sophie Alice baxter. And it's murder on the dance floor is playing, and you hear it really.
Ryan: Is her biggest song.
Renee: It's very good.
Laura: It's a great song. I'd never heard it. See, that's another testament to how you were saying. It's, uh, mostly, like, english kind of singers and stuff. I had never heard that song before. But you'd heard it, ryan?
Ryan: Oh, I've heard it five times. Yeah. Just, it's been on the radio and stuff.
Laura: I'd never heard it, and I love it. So now it's not old to me.
Renee: So you're going to hear it more often. I think we're going to hear this whole soundtrack at my house often.
Laura: Yeah, I've already listened to it a couple of times.
Ryan: All right.
Laura: But, yeah, you kind of hear the song quietly as the camera kind of moves from room to room. And then you finally get back to oliver, who is going to shadow at first, but then he moves out, and that boy is nude, head to toe.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: And you get the most fun and most horrible just knowing everything that's led up to this moment dance sequence. It's wonderful.
Renee: He's a great dancer.
Laura: When we saw that the first time, I teared up because it was so great. It was so fun to me. I love this so much. It's not pure, but it's just, like, joyful.
Renee: It's also, like, possessive, because the way he's touching all the door frames, just, like, touching things. It's very joyful. Lots of spins, but he really just nails all the points of the dancing, too.
Laura: Slides. Ballerina arms. Ah, lots of hips, big hips.
Renee: Um, some run dancing, too, which I love. And then you do a thing.
Laura: You run, spin, and then do a line of cocaine.
Renee: He does a little bit of cocaine.
Tighe: Yeah, that's right.
Renee: Dance break for the cocaine.
Ryan: Um, I thought this is a dick podcast. This is a dance podcast. That's right.
Renee: But it's wagging back and forth. You get to see it multiple times.
Ryan: He rests on his back foot. The pirouette comes here, and then the dick slides here, slides there, slaps against his thigh here.
Laura: That's right.
Ryan: Pirouette.
Tighe: Definitely slapping.
Ryan: There's a lot of slappers in there.
Laura: I think there was a lot more spinning originally in the choreography, and I think they being, the filmmakers, were worried about too much. The motion picture association of America, which are the devils. I hate them so much. Um, so they were worried about the spins, I think.
Renee: But he still does spins.
Laura: He does some spins, yeah, I think there was a lot more spinning involved.
Ryan: Okay. Uh, they were worried about up.
Laura: Um. I think it's just there's a lot more movement, a lot more penis movement when you.
Ryan: I thought they'd be worried about like, every time he spun, his dick would, like, swing out and knock something expensive off the wall.
Laura: That's right. Good for him. Right?
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: Um. We can talk about this forever. I don't care if we add another hour to this, but I have a lot of things that Emerald said, and I have some things that Barry said.
So, um, Emerald said the movie always ended with Oliver walking naked through the house, which I think you brought up earlier, Ty. Um, she said it's an act of desecration. It's also an act of territory, taking on ownership. But it's solitary because he's alone. Um, it wouldn't be the same if he's just walking through the house in his pajamas like they originally had intended. Um, it's that he's walking through his house. It's his fucking house and he can do whatever he wants with it. And, um, Barry Keoghan said, without sounding cocky, it wasn't the nudity that was fine for me. It was the dancing. I don't really dance. I don't know how to move my hips in certain ways. And your body has to go in certain directions and stuff like that. The dancing scared me. So once I was comfy with the dance, the rest was easy. And he said, also, I'd already fucked a grave, so I'd already done all that thing in the bathtub. I'd already broken a lot of taboos. I'm, um, walking around in the nude. That was the most relatable thing that there was. Not that I relate to any of the other stuff. Um, and he's like, dancing around in the nude. I mean, we all do it, don't we? We do it at home, we do it in the shower. We all act silly when we're on our own. We sing out loud, we dance. So I could relate with that. Um, and the cinematographer, Linus Sandgren, says that, um, they brought in the sense of voyeurism that defines the movie. And it was less about seeing Barry's reactions to the things. Um, it was more us gently observing our king of the castle in the best day of his life.
Renee: I can't believe he's not a dancer.
Laura: I know.
Renee: I was like, that man is professionally trained.
Ryan: If he went through acting school, he would have done some dancing at acting school. Whether or not he enjoys it, I think is kind of more the thing here.
Tighe: No, he's smooth, he's great.
Ryan: He's got moves. He was fine. He knows exactly what he's doing. He's just being modest.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: He's like, oh no, I don't know if I can do this. He's like perfect at. It's like, oh, thanks, Barry.
Renee: I don't really dance naked.
Ryan: I don't really dance naked or stand. I just stand there naked.
Laura: I dance a lot.
Renee: Yeah, I'll dance, but I need a little booby. Believe if you dance naked. I'm so impressed, because when I'm naked.
Ryan: I feel like Harvey Kitel in bad lieutenant. That's how I feel, like sobbing, just sobbing uncontrollably.
Tighe: That's about right.
Laura: It's usually pretty awkward when we're both naked and I'm dancing around and he's just crying.
Ryan: Well, I have been taking like a massive amount of crack.
Laura: Yeah. Which is doing the opposite effect. So maybe we need to change your meds.
Ryan: Yeah, potentially.
Laura: You know what I mean?
Ryan: I'm not depressed anymore, but like, these scabs are a nightmare.
Tighe: Ah, I'm ready to rate this thing.
Ryan: By the way, Ty's ready to go home.
Laura: I don't have anything else.
Um, anyway, unless anyone wanted to say anything else about that penis, but I.
Ryan: Had a couple of lines I liked in the movie. Well, the thing is, the penis scene is what it is. I think we've kind of explored.
Laura: I don't know, you guys. This penis scene, uh, for me, is the top penis scene. Genuinely out of most of the things that we've done on this podcast. That's a real dick. That's a real penis dancing around in that scene. That is wild. And it's a tracking shot. That is a long tracking shot through that house. That's amazing. We don't get that. We don't get the amount of time, lighting, uh, dedication and care, dance movements, clarity of frame. Absolutely. Because you think at know, like we had the grave and you go, oh, is that. No, no. And then he starts dancing and you go, oh, I saw it for a second. No, absolutely not. Emerald took the time to have that man dance and she framed it perfectly. He danced perfectly. You got the feeling of what they were trying to put across there. Um, I don't know. I think she did a great job and maybe this should be saved for my rating, but I think it's really quite something. It's not something that you'd see. And we were in a theater full of people. The granted it was small. But if it was a bigger theater, I think there would have been more people in it.
Renee: Every time we, times we've seen it, theater has been full, full. So I like the very end of the dance scene because just in case we were having such a nice time. Forgot why he's done this. He touches all their dead stones that.
Laura: He stole from the river.
Renee: He stole from the river because he's that fucked up.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: What about that pig man? There's a pig man in the movie who's like turning the.
Laura: Yeah, the pig man's roasting the pig.
Tighe: It was a rich person.
Laura: That was him.
Ryan: Yeah. Ah, and there's a factory out there that makes little Olivers as well.
Laura: In the doll factory. Yeah.
Ryan: Uh, my favorite line in the whole movie that I wrote down, uh, was Barry Keoghan's voiceover. And he goes, it's like I'm turning the handle to opening of this jack in the box towards the end of the world. M mhm. He's fucking crazy.
Tighe: Bonkers.
One last bit of trivia that I think is kind of fun if you notice, but, um, emerald wanted, um, Felix to have that eyebrow ring for the entire movie because he does, if you notice, he has. And the studio fought hard against it. They're like, he's considered the most beautiful man in the world. You're not going to put an eyebrow ring on him like a trashy 2000. She's like, no, it's totally in character. And the compromise was that he would take it out when he goes home.
Laura: Right?
Tighe: So they threw in that line where he's like, yeah, I can't even wear my stud here. Uh, that was the compromise. He could have it while away at school, but when he went home he had to take it out anyway. I thought that was interesting. That was purely motivated by like a.
Renee: Compromise that totally made sense to me because I had plenty of friends with different nose piercings, eyebrow rings and stuff. And their parents, they had it, whatever and their parents couldn't stand the look of it and they had to take it off when they got home.
Tighe: And it's nice because, ah, a minute or two before that he says that whole like, oh, there's a razor. My mother hates stubble and stuff. So they lay out that this is a house of beauty. There's nothing like.
Renee: Yeah, everyone has to look good.
Tighe: Yes. Good and a very.
Laura: They were pretty happy that he wasn't a. Right.
Ryan: Yeah, yeah. He was an ugly little dick. Yeah.
Um, I have ratings, ratings, ratings.
Laura: Such a nice home, Ty. You're going to go first. Um, so remember, we do visibility and conduct, so you can mix them together out of five, and then, I don't know, you can just do the film right after if you want. We'll just make it easy.
Tighe: Oh, this is real easy for me. Uh, top marks across the board. I mean that everything. Clarity, visibility, screen time, it's all great. It's in context. Top marks. I can't think of a better dick in a film, honestly. And the movie's great. I've seen it twice in a week.
Laura: Write your wishes.
Tighe: Yeah, the second time, now that I didn't want to see it, I didn't necessarily want to see it today. I was going to see it again, but I was like, once I got there, I was like, yeah, I love this movie. What was I complaining about?
Laura: It is really fun.
Tighe: Yeah. Tom marks across the board.
Laura: What about, uh, for the film?
Tighe: Absolutely.
Laura: Oh, all right. Well, here we go.
Ryan: So what was that as a number.
Tighe: Out of five, right?
Laura: Yeah.
Tighe: I'll give it a five second viewing. It went, like, even up. More even. I want to be too much hyperbole, but it's a modern masterpiece. It's running for my film of the year.
Laura: Oh, my gosh.
Tighe: Top three for sure.
Laura: I'm with you, man.
Renee: Okay, but go ahead, renee, is it my turn? Okay, I'll also go five. Uh, four. Visibility and context.
Laura: Wonderful.
Renee: Yeah. All the things we talked about before, you could see it a lot, many times. Clearly well lit. It's joyful. It captures not the penis, but the scene, captures the feeling of the moment. Uh, and then I will give the film a four and a half. Um, I loved it. I can't tell you why I take it away. A half a point. I know a, ah, five when I see it, and for me, it was just like a four and a half.
Laura: It's almost there.
Renee: Yeah, that's way higher. I usually give almost everything a three.
Laura: True. But I'm with you. And if I look at my ratings history, it's usually like, ah, I liked it. It was fine. But this, I mean, when I watched this, I'll go ahead and just go. Fives for me, for everything, because I already just went into my rant about how I loved the end of this film, and I loved the film in general. I had so much fun. I just had a smile on my face. Uh, it was fun seeing it. Theater. It was fun seeing it with other people. I had a really hard time seeing it without Ryan the first time, because it's all I wanted to talk about. And luckily, we got to do that together today, so that was great. And it genuinely is probably the best thing I watched this year other than that five hour Robocop documentary that we watched, which was amazing.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: Um, you did nail it, though. That was the thing. After I saw it, I wanted to talk about it with everybody.
Laura: Yeah.
Tighe: The next day, I was just like, anybody see Saltburn? Does anybody see Saltburn? I need to talk about this with somebody else.
Laura: We went to that light show. There was a kid wearing antlers, and I was like, guys doing a saltburn? And it's like a childburn. I had so much fun. It's a really fun movie, but I like that dark shit. I love that darkness. I love that it's, like, cheeky at times. And I like that all the characters in a weird way that you can sympathize with them, but none of them are good. You can see motivations for every single character, but you're not really rooting for them either. But, uh, in a way, it kind of pulls you back and forth between everyone. And I find that really hard to do and really interesting. Like, I loved everyone. Everyone is gorgeous. The setting is beautiful, cinematography is great, the music is fun, and it's just horrible. And that's the kind of thing I look for in a movie. Just some really dark, horrible stuff with a penis scene that I'm genuinely trying to think of its rival. We have really great ones. Like, shame always gets up there. But shame is like, kind of like a joke at this point. If you're going to compare it to this one in terms of dick scenes. Sorry. I love shame.
Tighe: I love shame, dude, I love shame. I stand by Bender probably has the most beautiful dick in the world. It's gorgeous.
Laura: It's a perfect specimen. Yeah, he's great.
Ryan: Can I talk about my rate?
Tighe: Oh, please do.
Ryan: I feel like everyone's just.
Laura: I'm sorry.
Ryan: You're just obsessed with just the, uh. I mean, I think the scene itself is really good, and I was very surprised by it. And I gave it five stars as well. I don't know what else I can kind of add to it that hasn't already been said already. Um, I gave the film four and a half because I don't think it's close to perfection. And I don't think a five star film is perfection, but it's as close as it gets. And this one's a four and a half. But I think the issue I had was that I didn't have that first viewing that you guys had where you just sat down and you watched it for enjoyment? I was watching it for analyzing it. And I was like, keep, uh, on missing things because I'm writing things in my notebook in the dark. But no, uh, I think it's very good. Um, I can't pin down why I don't think it's. As I watched bottoms this year, I gave bottoms five stars. There's nothing really that wrong with that movie. Yeah, that film is.
Laura: That really surprised me. I remember when you gave bottoms five and I was like, yeah, I really like bottoms. And you're like, I love bottoms.
Ryan: I loved it. Yes. Loved the fuck out of it.
Laura: You did love bottoms. That was really interesting.
Ryan: I loved, bottoms is your film of I loved how silly and gay it was. I loved it. Yeah. Um, that also had a weird tone though. The tone in that movie is more of, ah, like one of those humps that someone who's training in the army has to get over. But then once you get over it, it's really pleasant. It's like very warming. The tone in that movie.
Laura: That movie is very dark as well.
Ryan: And this one. Yeah, I like it. I gave it four and a half. I shouldn't have to explain anything, but it's just not. I can't put my finger on why it's not more than that. But it might be just because I.
Laura: Looked at it analytically, maybe with a pleasure viewing.
Ryan: A. Ah, pleasure viewing. Yes.
Laura: Which we will have.
Because if you guys don't know that this episode, if you're listening to it, uh, is releasing on December 22, which is the day it releases on Amazon prime for everyone to watch.
Ryan: Maybe that's one thing I liked about this, is the fact that it's one of those movies. It didn't come from a 24 this time. It came from Amazon. Um, so maybe I didn't think it came from Amazon.
Tighe: Well, it came from MGM Studios.
Ryan: Wholly unsubscribed Amazon, which is obviously, that's the blanket it's going to come under. It's not going to be referred to as, oh my God. Did you see that movie? That Saltburn productions movie that came out? The Saltburn committee, they own MGM.
Tighe: There's a couple of things coming out under the MGM banner that are like, good. Uh, they're putting profile stuff, not straight to prime video.
Ryan: Under the MGM banner. Yeah, I don't know. I'm having one of those a 24 moments where I'm just kind of. I'm sick and tired of hearing about it. So I was happy that it wasn't that.
Laura: Yeah. That's a shame.
Ryan: Not really.
Laura: Anyway, a 23. You remember that?
Tighe: Anyway, I love emerald. I want her to make bajillion, uh, movies. This makes me want to go watch killing Eve season two, which you watched and you really liked.
Renee: I love killing Eve.
Tighe: Yeah, you were, like, already watching it.
Laura: Uh, promising young woman is amazing.
Ryan: Oh, yeah.
Tighe: We didn't even talk about that promising.
Laura: Woman, and she won a fucking Oscar for that.
Tighe: Which well deserved.
Laura: Yeah, absolutely.
Tighe: The movie's awesome.
Laura: You did read those jokes online. I wasn't going to bring it up, but she wants to do an erotic Jurassic park. She wants to do, like, way in.
Renee: Yeah, I'm, like, sexy.
Laura: I don't know what you mean, but, yeah, uh, sure. I will hold her hand if she will guide me. We're also born in the same year, and I want her to be my friend. Me, her and Phoebe Waller bridges. And we can all hang out.
Renee: And me.
Laura: And you're here, too. We're also holding hands, we're stroking each other. All, uh, notes on a scandal.
Tighe: That's a journal.
Renee: You better not kick me out because you found better friends.
Laura: No, we're all going to be friends, and we're going to stroke each other. Um, I don't know.
Ryan: You lost me at, like, erotic Jurassic park. What's happening?
Laura: That's the first thing I said.
Ryan: Are people having sex with dinosaurs?
Laura: I don't know. Ask her. Just send her a message and ask her. I don't know.
Ryan: Got a chompy on the end of my deck.
Tighe: Yeah, I feel assumed that the sex is happening in the proximity in the park.
Laura: It's like the danger is giving boners to the humans.
Tighe: They're hiding somewhere, and then they realize, oh, this might be our last chance to fulfill this smoldering attraction we've had to each other.
Laura: Yeah, I hope. It's like interspecies.
Ryan: He gets her into bed. He gets a woman into bed and she does something. Really.
Laura: Or they do, like, a human dino hybrid that's got, like, a big dick.
Ryan: Well, I just want to see the dude in bed. Just go, clever girl.
Tighe: He was on the arc to get there. He knew where he was going.
Ryan: Yeah, you kept on interrupting me as I was trying to get the crescendo. I was not going to allow that to not happen.
Tighe: Or, like, they're having sex and then the raptor opens the door and comes in the room, and, like, another raptor comes.
Ryan: They're having sex in there.
Tighe: I opened the door because I'm a raptor and he's like, we can do that. Dude, you can totally open doors.
Laura: Now.
Tighe: You try it. Look, watch me have sex.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: Wow, they're really having sex in there.
Ryan: Yeah. And then they're like, what did he say? Here, there's a raper at the door.
Laura: Were, wait, no, that's not what I said.
Ryan: That's not what I said. Um, I'm just a raptor. Like, oh, that's okay. He's like, go back to boning.
Laura: Wonderful.
Ryan: Yeah.
Tighe: Um, anyway, yay for Saltburn.
Ryan: His vision was based on movement.
Laura: They can see everything.
Ryan: Can see everything. I'm so close, though.
Tighe: Don't tell me to stop. You have to stop or we're going to die.
Ryan: His vision is based on movement, and.
Tighe: He likes what he sees.
Ryan: The Trex is drooling.
Tighe: He's a voyeur.
Ryan: Yeah. He's wearing sunglasses and, like, a fucking trench coat. Yeah, trench coat. Trench coat. Yeah. Like a fucking windbreaker.
Laura: Thank you guys for coming to our Christmas key party. Um, we got to pick out our keys and see who's going home with who.
Ryan: I hope I get ty.
Laura: I know. I hope I get Renee.
Tighe: Same.
Laura: I think this will be easy.
Tighe: Me and Ryan will be playing sonic in the post glow for hours while you guys.
Ryan: That'd be great.
Laura: You guys would have so much fun. They would.
Ryan: Who's the top and who's the bottom? Might as well figure this out now.
Tighe: As long as we can get to the sonic, it's okay, right?
Ryan: Okay, maybe just skip the sex and just do the sonic. Yeah, right.
Laura: You can't do that. It doesn't have to be.
Ryan: Oh, good. So there was no sex. I'm, um, happy.
Laura: Whatever's consensual and you guys agree upon, it's fine.
Tighe: We seem to agree on Sonic.
Ryan: I think Sonic's easy enough to. It was. I wish life was that easy.
Laura: Sonic. Sometimes Sonic is really difficult when you get to the scenes, like, later on.
Ryan: Sonic is wildly pleasant.
Laura: All right, I'm going to start this off with thanking you guys for coming to our party. And, um, it's the last episode of the year, christmas, um, party, and I'm so glad it was Saltburn. I'm glad I convinced Ryan to do it.
Ryan: I was going to say we should be thanking the listeners out there who have gotten us into the position that we're in right now. So we're now, uh, 60, almost 70 episodes now.
Laura: That's right.
Ryan: People continue to listen. So thank you for everything you've done for us in 2023.
Laura: This isn't thanksgiving.
Ryan: Whoever you are.
Laura: They know who they are and they can watch this movie on prime, and that's really cool. And they can send us messages about future Christmas penis movies because that is becoming a really shallow kind of pool to pull from. Um, but anyway, I'm going to start off with saying, coming to you, coming to you from the king's arms. And maybe Renee has a couple coming.
Renee: To you from the inside of Oliver's mom's throat.
Ryan: Jesus. Jesus.
Renee: Coming to you live from Dead Rock bridge.
Laura: Oh, my God.
Renee: Coming to you live from the bathtub. Um, in between Felix and Oliver's room.
Laura: I have to stop. Coming to you from the Minotaur penis maze. Um, I have been Laura.
Ryan: I'm Ryan.
Tighe: I was ty.
Laura: I'm Renee. Um, happy holidays and whatever. Happy penis Christmas. Have a cheeky holiday. Cheeky holiday. And that's it.
Ryan: Cool. Let's get these keys sorted out, guys. What are we doing?
Laura: Sonic.
Ryan: I've been waiting 2 hours for this.
Laura: Nice place in like, a nice part of London. I'm sure he got.
Ryan: Holy fuck. Yeah, that got me. That got me big time.