The third and final part of the "Lee-gacy": TAKING WOODSTOCK!
It's been an emotional journey, sometimes infuriating and sometimes confusing, but we're here!
To round off the trifecta , we have TAKING WOODSTOCK, a large scale, period-piece, ensemble cast led telling of the memoir about how the legendary concert came to be. No stone is left unturned. No paperwork left unexamined. No telephone line or portaloo left unerrected, this is the definitive story of Woodstock.
There's some good. There's some bad. There's some confusing decisions made. See what you think for yourself, man. Groovy! (ugh)
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: Sorry. Pardon? M me?
Ryan: Um, okay, well, I just yeah, I just wanted to get some, you know, we get some pre roll before we we decide to actually roll.
Laura: Hello there. Welcome to On the BiTTE the podcast that uncovers full frontal male nudity in cinema. My name is Laura, and I'm here with my yeah, I was trying to think of something fun. You're ryan. Ryan's fun.
Ryan: It's always good.
Laura: Just, uh, my co host.
Ryan: Just go with the standard. Just go with the standard.
Laura: The man. My man, Ryan.
Ryan: I'm your man.
Laura: The man.
Ryan: Well, no, I'm your man. No, I'm not the, uh, man. What would that follow up?
Laura: The man.
Ryan: The man about town.
Laura: No, you're not that no, I'm not.
Ryan: I'm Navy's, man. Apart from Laura. She bought me, but she bought damaged goods. I've been having a terrible day today.
Laura: And I'm going to make it a lot worse. I'm just kidding. Well, it's not going to be that bad. We're going to be talking about the 2009 historical musical comedy drama Taking Woodstock. So this is the finale of The Lee-gacy
Ryan: We decided to settle on Lee-gacy
Laura: I hope so, because this is the last one.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: I still like the you won't like me when I'm angry.
Ryan: Yeah, but it's not ours, though. It's somebody else's.
Laura: I know. Lee-gacy 100% ours.
Ryan: I think it's fine. It's not as racist either, so I think that's okay.
Laura: I still disagree with that.
Ryan: All right, well, you would, wouldn't you?
Laura: Hey, do you know what? I used to get bummed out when it rained, but then I realized it's just God's way of washing hippies.
Ryan: Where did that come from?
Laura: That is a demetri Martin joke. Who stars in this film, along with Emil Destantin, Henry Goodman, Lee Shriver, Jonathan Groff, Eugene Levy, Emil Hirsch, Paul Dano, jeffrey Dean Morgan, and maybe 50 other very, very famous actors of our time that we all still love and enjoy today. This film is incredibly stacked.
Ryan: Maybe too stacked.
Laura: I agree. Because there's too much star power and too much incredible acting happening, but it's still centered around Dimitri Martin. This is his first starring role in a film. He's cameoed in, I think, five other films. Or, uh, this is his fifth film, but this is his first lead role.
Ryan: Yeah, um, I think he's fine.
Laura: I like Dimitri Martin a lot. I've seen him live a couple of times. One of those times I fell asleep. It was just not a good set that night. It's not his fault. I'm also a very sleepy person, but yeah, I don't think he's not carrying the film. Do you know who carries this film? In my opinion, who? Leave shriver?
Ryan: Yeah. I mean, he doesn't turn up till, like, halfway through.
Laura: I live for him in this film. I loved him.
Ryan: Yeah, he's solid. I think he's pretty solid.
Laura: Um, the life just got breathed back into me as soon as I saw him.
Ryan: Okay, every time. Well, that's good. I'm glad that you felt pretty much dead the rest of the time today.
Laura: During the film.
Ryan: Oh, during the film. I thought you meant just in life. You're a fucking zombie. Zombieing around.
Laura: Sometimes life is really hard.
Ryan: Oh, my God, ryan, I'm so sore. Life is pain. Life fucking is. Yeah, his life is pain. Um, although, according to that T shirt that we saw in, uh, that Zara shop out in Disney Springs, it said, life is random. And then underneath it, it was all the symbols, uh, you would find on your washing, like, your washing instruction symbols. Like, it can only be washed in, like, 30 degree temperature. Otherwise it will run.
Laura: That's so random.
Ryan: Fucking Zara.
Laura: So random.
Ryan: Yeah. The clothing shop.
Laura: Ah.
Laura: As we've mentioned, obviously this is the third and final Ang Lee penis picture that we have.
Ryan: Yeah, we covered him extensively, um, on that first episode. We're okay. We don't need to cover anyone.
Laura: No, you know who he is.
Ryan: You know exactly who is by this point. You're now his best friend. Even if he doesn't know it.
Laura: That's okay. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes you think you're better friends than you actually are, and that can you know he doesn't know that.
Ryan: What, are you attacking my feet?
Laura: So now that, uh, we and Lee are dear friends, I thought I would give you the synopsis of this film that is incredibly long. The story of Elliot Tyber and his family, who inadvertently played a pivotal role in making the famed Woodstock Music and Arts Festival into the happening that it was when Elliot hears that a neighboring town has pulled the permit on a hippie music festival, he calls the production no, he doesn't. I can't read. Oh, God. Just be quiet. He calls the I'm not even halfway done. He calls the producers, thinking he could drum up some much needed business for his parents'rundown motel. Three weeks later, half a million people are on their way to his neighbor's farm in White Lake, New York, and Elliot finds himself swept up in a generation defining experience that would change his life and American culture forever.
Ryan: I always ponder it. Do people understand how long a synopsis is meant to be from that? It's like, that's incredibly dense. That's the entire movie halfway through my eyes went crooked.
Laura: That's why.
Ryan: Of course they did. Yeah. That's fucking insanity. I think it's user isn't it? Not user generated information. Like those pages.
Laura: Can I yell at someone who wrote that on letterboxed?
Ryan: Yeah, probably.
Laura: What are you doing?
Ryan: Yeah. Or you go to that person's IMDb page for their top film is The Dark Knight. Is that sort of person. Yeah, but it's kind of like, well, hey, let's put this we may as well just get this out here right now. The good night at, uh the good night the dark night is only good pretty much until the last 20 minutes and then the last 20 minutes is just fodder. Absolute fodder.
Laura: Why are you going to crap on a movie that's good and then the end maybe isn't as good?
Ryan: It's not perfect. It's not a perfect movie.
Laura: Very good movie.
Ryan: Okay, whatever.
Laura: Uh, this isn't a very good movie. I was trying to transition.
Laura: So the tagline for this film is a generation began in his. So yeah, it's interesting. So Elliot Tiber is a real human being. This film is based on his memoir with, uh, the same name. And he actually met Aang Lee at an event and pitched this movie to him in person. He gave him like a 1 minute pitch. And the producers were know, we don't want to make this a regular thing, so please don't bombard li with your movie tips. But it worked. And they actually obviously made this film.
Ryan: Yeah. Um, I think I always liked the story of Woodstock, just kind of this idea of how it is. I mean, I don't know if I knew. It completely kind of beat for beat, I remember about the family. And obviously they were able to kind of set their location. That's where everybody was able to go. That's why Woodstock became the legend that it was. But, um, yeah, the amount of depth this film goes into, I mean, it's quite long. I mean, it's 2 hours long. Is that long? Probably not. It's only half an hour over the ideal length for any movie. But it is a bit slow. I wouldn't say it's actually funny. You call it a comedy drama. I don't really find it funny. It's innocuous and kind of innocent enough. Um, although we'll kind of get into it and you'll be like, innocent. Ryan, what are you thinking? Um, it is yeah. Um, it's just a little slow.
Laura: You know what? It's almost like being the first person to a party and kind of watching the hosts set up. That's what this movie feels like to me, I guess.
Ryan: Yeah, but then you never get to meet the hosts.
Laura: Well, no, the hosts are the motel owners. And Martin. That's the host. You're basically you showed up at this party and you're like, oh, whoops, uh oh, is the party not ready yet? And then you fall asleep in the bathroom because you drank too much before everyone actually gets, um, um, bilbo got knocked out at the battle in the Hobbit. Do you know what I'm saying? And he wakes up at the end. He was there for all that pre party. And then he wakes up and it's all over. I'm saying that because you don't see Woodstock. You don't see any music happen. No, that doesn't happen in this film. And I know when you see the title, uh, taking Woodstock, you assume, oh, I'm going to watch at least some people dressed up like Jimi Hendrix or something.
Ryan: Potentially, yes. You never you'd expect something more than what it is I guess it's fair.
Laura: Enough because it is based on a memoir of this guy.
Ryan: Yeah. He would have been able yeah. Because otherwise he wasn't technically able to see Woodstock.
Laura: Right.
Ryan: Even though it was effectively in his backyard. Um, and he helped to bring it to fruition.
Laura: It's cool, but it doesn't make for a necessarily interesting cinema experience, in my opinion.
Ryan: I find it to be kind of droll and a little bit lifeless.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: Just feels a little bit kind of like it has this nice veneer. But I also have an issue with films set during the 60s anyway, because it tends to just look a little bit like those flashbacks from Austin Powers where everybody's kind of dressed as the Ed, as they would be during the 60s.
Laura: Um, yes, that's how it goes.
Ryan: I don't know what it is, even if it is like the feel like there's just an inauthentic sense about it.
Laura: Well, everything in this film, um, there was some stuff that I was reading saying that even the bands that were playing that was all recorded for the film, other than kind of the soundtrack that was playing over, like the live music that was playing was all recorded for the film. It's not Woodstock recordings that you're hearing, right? Um, yeah, there's no footage from Woodstock at all.
Ryan: No, because that was something I was asking because I think because there's a lot of split screen stuff in it, which is also something that I'm not yeah. I don't know. I see split screens in Ang Lee movie. I start to get like, PTSD, Hulk stuff. As much as I like that movie that editing and that, uh I made a decision on it recently. I think it's horrible. But anyway, um, yeah, it's kind of just like, well, no, we need to speed this film up. So let's just put some split screens into it. And we'll show the shots that were in the sequence before just slightly off to the left in a slightly different panel. Yeah, a lot of that split screen stuff just didn't really scream to me because it only happens in a few select moments in the movie. And then when it just kind of doesn't happen anymore, you're like, oh, what happened to the split screens?
Laura: Yeah, well, it's just his idea of a montage at this point. But it's an, uh, uh, unnecessary flare.
Ryan: Yeah. Because I mean, a star wipe doesn't go hell.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: Um, I had a little bit more about Elliot Tiber, the actual human being. So not too long after this festival in real life, he moved to Los Angeles and became a movie set designer. And he passed away in 2016. But he got to see his movie made.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: It's not as it shows in the film, where Dimitri Martin, while people are still leaving the festival, is packing his bags to leave. Not quite like that. That's very strange. Also, how are you going to get your car out of there? There's half a million people in your front yard.
Ryan: Very busy. Um, yeah, I guess there's Liberty taken with his story just to give it dramatic value. Um, oh yeah. It's such a shame because we've covered brokeback and stuff like that. And that's where you really understand how Ang Lee can really kind of craft a, uh, little sleepy like the intricacies of putting this thing together from the perspective of the people who helped make it happen. Yeah. I don't know if that's the story I'm particularly interested in seeing. Like money changing hands. Like money in a bag and uh, all these investors and all this other stuff like people constructing phone booths. It's a little bit extraneous. It just gets a little bit much. I do like overall though, how real a lot of this stuff is because it's all real helicopters for the most part. It's all real people in some of these shots.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: Other than obviously the massive wide shots of like half a million people in a field.
Laura: Um, tripping on acid.
Ryan: Tripping on acid. Um, yeah. I think before we started this, I got myself a little bit glonky. So I'm feeling it.
Laura: I needed to get in the spirit.
Ryan: Well, I'm starting to panic because I started thinking I'm not saying enough. But literally we've only been recording for so long. I feel like I've been sitting here for hours.
Laura: I love that you're going to edit this back and go, oh no.
Ryan: Oh no, this is a mistake.
Laura: Oh no. It's just going to be me on this recording.
Ryan: It'll just be Laura. And I'll rerecord I'll rerecord all of the things that I would say. So it makes sense to whatever you're saying.
Laura: So I talked about Dimitri Martin a little bit, but I don't know, I think I have a longer kind of history and relationship with standup than you do, potentially.
Ryan: M, I think there's certain standup that I've seen that you've not and there's stuff that you've seen that I've definitely not.
Laura: That's fair. Were you familiar with Dimitri Martin before you met me?
Ryan: No. You know what he reminded me of? He reminded me of the film director's assistant from True Romance. Um, who's also balky. Yeah. He's also perfect strangers. Yes, 100%. Oh my god. God. We brought up perfect strangers. Yeah. Because I was also going to be he's like the artist with the gallery, uh, in Beverly Hills Cop. Get the fuck out of here. That guy.
Laura: I love perfect strangers.
Ryan: Yeah, you showed me the intro to that a few times.
Laura: There is going to be a day where we visit Chicago and we will reenact the whole opening sequence from Perfect Strangers. And I to be balky. Me.
Ryan: Yeah. I can be the other guy.
Laura: Larry yeah. I love perfect strangers. You guys, uh, let's change this over there's no dicks in Perfect Strangers.
Ryan: But you can't keep on just jumping away from taking Woodstock. I know it's boring, but we have to cover it.
Laura: So Dimitri Martin, you just heard the.
Ryan: Disappointment in her voice. Like, we have to continue talking about taking Woodstock.
Laura: He still continues to do film roles, but it's more of in a cameo aspect. Most recently, he was in the weird The Al Yankovic story, which we saw.
Ryan: Yeah, we did. I can't remember.
Laura: Well, that film was full of cameos, but that movie was pretty good.
Ryan: Yeah, I liked it. I liked it a fair amount.
Laura: So he ended up getting this role. And like I said earlier, it's his first lead role in a film, M, after James Seamus Shamu. Just kidding. Uh, the screenwriter producer. Oh my gosh. Are you okay, Shamu?
Ryan: Um, like m the whale.
Laura: Yeah. After his daughter showed him a clip of Demetri on YouTube one night, and the producer's like, oh, that's interesting. Which led to kind of a general meeting with, uh, James initially. And then nine months later, Dimitri met with James and Angli and they happened to have this project. And I think Dimitri Martin had said before that he only really ever envisioned himself in a film if he actually wrote it, so he could write him into it. But this was not that film. So I think he lent very heavily on like, Lee Schreiber and Emile Hirsch and was trying to get help and tips. And they're all very seasoned and professional actors. So he didn't get too much help.
Ryan: Yeah. It's a shame Shamu wasn't able to fucking Shamu. Yeah.
Laura: James Shamu.
Ryan: Oh, God. Um, yeah, I think he does fine.
Laura: Um, yeah, he can't carry a film. So anytime you see someone like Paul Dano pop up or every time Lee Shriver showed up, I'm like, yes, or.
Ryan: You wasn't why wasn't Paul Dano in the lead of this? He would have been fine. He would have been perfect, actually, probably.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: But, uh, yeah, no, I think Dimitri does okay.
Laura: He does.
Ryan: It's what they're given. There's so many characters in this movie and I mean, unfortunately, just Dimitri doesn't pull it off to the point where you care about what's going on with him. Um, he does cry in the movie a little bit, but it does look like we don't see him physically cry. No, it's like they just kind of wet his face at the very end.
Laura: I looked and I'm like, oh, no, it just looks like little droppers got.
Ryan: Dropped onto his demetri needs a cry now, boys. A couple of little men just come out with an eyedropper and there you. Um uh, yeah, it doesn't look good. No, it really doesn't.
Laura: Apparently, there's a lot of deleted scenes and I think something that they tried to touch on. And, uh, I don't know if they shied away from it or what was going on, but Elliot's character Demetri Martin's character is and you know what? To be fair, I guess you don't have to harp on the fact that someone's gay. People are just gay if they are. So you don't have to make it a plot point, necessarily. But apparently in the book and in Elliot's actual life, that was a big point of contention, and it was hard for him, as it would be for anyone in the you know so that was something he struggled with that they didn't really touch on in the film too much. But there are some deleted scenes.
Ryan: Well, I wouldn't have known unless you said it.
Laura: Well, his friend that called him on the phone at one point in the film steve or Stephen, I guess.
Ryan: Yeah, Steve.
Laura: He brought up the riots. So he's talking about the Stonewall Riots, which Elliot was at.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: So while he was living in New York, he was kind of active know, the LGBTQ community. I think when he was in New York, he was just himself, so he was able to be himself. Uh, he had his community of friends and stuff. But the actual man and there were deleted scenes about this he's really into leather. Uh, the actual Elliot's like quite a leather daddy and like to go to leather daddy bars. Cruising.
Ryan: Yes, cruising is like a lubed up forearm going into a man's anus.
Laura: Good Lord. So Demetri was worried that he didn't think he could adequately portray Elliot's character because he had read the book. And he's like, Can I do the leather daddy stuff? Like, am I going to be believable in this disarming?
Ryan: I do wonder what certainly what they do with the character. I know he's artistic and stuff. It would have his parents, because obviously, Mother, um, she's a kind of hard edged Russian immigrant. They were living in New York. And, uh, she's got his hold on him, and he's not particularly loud, so I don't know. There's footage of the original guy in that documentary. He looks like a big, beefy bear boy.
Laura: That's right.
Ryan: Yeah. Who likes his leather.
Laura: Leather bear.
Ryan: That makes sense. Leather bear.
Laura: Is that a thing?
Ryan: I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it is now.
Laura: Cool.
Ryan: But, uh yeah. Um, you don't miss it. Ah. You don't miss the leather stuff.
Laura: I don't know how it would have fit in with the tone of the film. The tone is pretty neutral.
Ryan: Very moot. Yeah. Incredibly moot, because that's the thing. It's not particularly funny.
Laura: There's no highs and lows either. It's weird because it kind of does stray away from a typical structure where you have, uh, obstacles and such things that you have to overcome, and then you end up at the end result. I think this film, it goes, we have an obstacle. Oh, we've overcome it. Okay. And then it just continues on.
Ryan: Yeah. It's like every single obstacle is, uh, actually completely waved away incredibly quickly. Well to the point where you're like, well, why are we even focusing on this whatsoever? Um, a film of this type, which I think is kind of better and I wish we were watching it instead, was Almost Famous. You know what I mean? I was getting, like, really strong, kind of Almost Famous vibes. And that movie is far better than whatever this is. Um, yeah, no, I wondered that. That's probably another reason why it was, um, just kind of dull. It's just like no action at all. Yeah. The plot is incredibly thin.
Laura: The most action packed part involves Paul Dano in a van.
Ryan: Yes. The second movie with Paul Dano mostly in a van. Um, yeah.
Laura: Um, we won't talk about that movie, though.
Ryan: Why?
Laura: Because there's no nudity in Little Miss Sunshine.
Ryan: Oh.
Laura: What movie are you talking about?
Ryan: Well, no, I was the movie, but I was thinking about prisoners as well. Yeah. Kidnapping children in a van. Um, okay, so it's three movies at least. I mean, there could be a Paul Dano theme. I wish this was a podcast about Paul Dano and vans.
Laura: I was going to say that Paul Dano seems to pop up on the penis periphery because we've seen him or we've talked about him before in Twelve Years of Slave.
Ryan: He's always got a little he's always just in the corridor of a doorway, you know what I mean? You're just like, oh, look, there's Dano again.
Laura: Oh, no, his van's out taking a wink.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: Paul.
Ryan: No, no, Paul. All right. No. Hello, Paul.
Laura: Uh, so I found out that when.
Ryan: Paul Dano we're saying it. No, no.
Laura: When Paul Dano found out he got the part, he was so excited that he decided to not cut his toenails so he could get into the hippie character. I don't know why he thought that hippies didn't cut their toenails. Is that a thing? Because there's that part when they're doing the acid in the van, and Paul Dano is rubbing his feet and legs, like, all up and down. Demetri Martin. And Demetri Martin said that during that scene, he goes he couldn't stop thinking about his gross feet because I kept thinking about it.
Ryan: Uh, it's gross.
Laura: And I looked and I saw and his toenails were long.
Ryan: They do look a little long. Yeah. I don't know if they're like Howard Hawks long, but certainly yeah.
Laura: Howard who?
Ryan: Howard Hawks?
Laura: Who's Howard Hawks?
Ryan: Um, he's a film director. He's a filmmaker.
Laura: Is that Howard Hughes?
Ryan: Is that think I'm getting no, howard Hawke is actually a film director. Am I getting mixed up with Howard Hughes? Hold on, let me figure this out. Yes. So it's Howard Hughes.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: Hold on.
Laura: I'm going to just double check.
Ryan: There is a Howard Hawks.
Laura: Don't you can keep doing your research and I'm going to keep talking.
Ryan: Yeah, here he is. Oh, Howard Hawks.
Laura: Okay.
Ryan: He directed his Girl Friday and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and the Big Sleep. Howard Hawks.
Laura: I've never seen any of those.
Ryan: Okay. Well, he is an old Time director. I thought.
Laura: Yeah, I don't watch Old Time. Gross.
Ryan: Well, I told you I'm kind of fucked up. You can't do things like that. I thought it was losing my memory. I was like, well, look, here's the thing, because I'm keeping all this stuff in because I'm not editing this episode that well. Um, it was Howard Hughes that had the OCD. And then he ended up locking himself away. And he had like tissue boxes for shoes and he didn't cut his nails and stuff. That's Howard Hughes. Yes. But Howard Hawks was also a filmmaker that I just kind of pointed out there. So it's okay. I wasn't technically wrong.
Laura: You were.
Ryan: But I was like 50% there.
Laura: Okay. Yeah. Good job.
Ryan: Really? It's reflective of the fact that, uh, I'm only 35% here, at least. Yeah, it is depleting. I feel like I got poisoned in a video game and my health's going down quickly.
Laura: I like the part in the beginning of the movie where Dimitri Martin is he's like the head of the city council, right? Yeah, city council. And he holds a meeting and they're trying to figure out, oh, how's the town going to get know this is the beginning of the film. Um, before we have Woodstock come in and everyone's coming up with ideas like we should have the running of the bulls and have them chase all the people in the town down the street. And another person just goes, monorail, monorail, monorail. And then who is it? Jeffrey Durgan in the back going, you can't bring up no, he doesn't. Someone else does. You can't keep bringing up the monorail. And then they say monorail like five times. And then you mean you're chanting, monorail, monorail, monorail. And boy, oh boy. Would this film be different if it was written by Conan O'Brien?
Ryan: Yes, it would be, um, it would be funny.
Laura: Uh, it would also be funny.
Ryan: Yeah. I wish I could remember where were the other monorails other than Springfield, though, that destroyed the town?
Laura: Oh, no. Um, I know one person that's going to be mad when they hear this.
Ryan: That they are, uh, he's going to be annoyed.
Laura: New Haven town.
Ryan: I think it's New Haven, isn't it? New Haven and, uh, North Haverbrook. North HavenBrook.
Laura: My god.
Ryan: Because that's a mixture of like five different towns in America though, right?
Laura: It's North HavenBrook and I can't remember the other one.
Ryan: Right. Well, I don't think yeah, it doesn't really matter because we're just going to infuriate him and he'll tell us later.
Laura: I'm sorry, Ty.
Ryan: Uh, they go on about the fucking, um, uh, we meet, uh, obviously, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. He's there. Beefcake Nagan, if everyone remembers that terrible zombie show. And, uh, also moments also of, uh, seasons. Also of the resident fame, that movie with Hillary Swank, honestly, where he does some really awful creepy stuff.
Laura: I love an erotic thriller, especially if you can combine an erotic thriller with a hider, like a hider in the house home invasion type thing.
Ryan: They already did that with Hider in the House because it's got Gary Boostie in it.
Laura: That wasn't erotic.
Ryan: It's pretty erotic to me.
Laura: EW. That movie is great. But the resident. That's what that's called.
Ryan: It's called the resident. Yeah. Well we watched it. Yeah. It's fucking awful.
Laura: It was ramping up and I'm like, this is going to be great. And then some stuff happens that we'll never watch again.
Ryan: Yeah. And it's not even like, oh, that's like you're just like, oh, that's pretty fucking horrible. That's just like disgusting.
Laura: Yes.
Ryan: Anyway, wasn't he like secretly putting the TV remotes up his bum or something? Like what was it that he was doing?
Laura: Pretty sure that he was drugging her and raping her and filming it.
Ryan: All right. That's right. Yeah. Sorry. I just got a vision of him like sticking biro pens up his ball.
Laura: I wish he was doing ass pennies instead.
Ryan: Ass pennies? Yeah.
Laura: And sticking pennies up his body. No he's not. He's doing worse things.
Ryan: There's like 2,000,678 pennies in circulation.
Laura: Is this what we're just going to reference all our favorite comedies? Well, it's because shout out to the Upright Citizens Brigade.
Ryan: We would rather talk about things that are funny because I think we mess of an episode. This is really bad. It's because we don't really have anything.
Laura: If you guys don't know these references, just send us a message. I will be happy to send you a link.
Ryan: We're trying to widen the audience of more than two people. So that's what we're trying to do. So if you understand these references, then you can let us know and you'll win a little prize.
Laura: Yeah. Our affection.
Ryan: No, we've got stickers. We'll send you some stickers.
Laura: Oh yeah.
Ryan: It's free to you, but it costs us money.
Laura: Anglia was talking about the rating for the film and saying that he was so pleased to get an R rating in the States and he's not sure about the rating in other countries, but he avoided an NC 17. When I was uh, kind of going through this movie before we decided to do it, just to see because I thought there was nudity in this film and I wasn't sure. So I'm scanning through it and all I saw was just one little bit of side penis towards the end of the film. And I'm like, okay, well we can do that. That's enough. And we've done worse.
Ryan: We have done far worse.
Laura: I've seen this movie before, but when it came out, when I worked at Hollywood Video back in the day, but obviously we watched it just now. There is a monster ton of penis in this film.
Ryan: An absolute parade of peeing.
Laura: A parade of pee. And it is really shocking.
Ryan: A cacophony a cock.
Laura: Thank you. Cacophony.
Ryan: Cacophony a cock.
Laura: And I'm not saying, uh, it was shocking in the. Way that existed on the screen.
Ryan: It's just murder of mandibles, the sheer amount. And murder remembers. Boom. There you go. Look, I'm just going to continue with the references, the quantity. Carry on.
Laura: No, I can't think of anything.
Ryan: A glitter of genitalia. I think that one's not great.
Laura: Okay, so, um, the first penis scene comes in at 24 minutes and 30 seconds. And this is right when they're trying to get everyone in to decide whether or not they're going to pick their town to do Woodstock. Because they already had Woodstock. It got canceled in Woodstock. Then they took Woodstock to the next town over and it got cancelled there. So this is kind of like their last chance. They'd already sold so many tickets.
Ryan: Well, Dimitri calls them in and gives them an option. Um, I would also kind of point out as well that the only reason they're there. He's also kind of doctored this permit for the area.
Laura: Yeah. They used a permit that they had approved for something else and he, ah, took it. So yeah, it was illegal.
Ryan: Pretty, uh, um, there's a lot of stuff that we've kind of overlooked and things. But there's a theater troupe that lives in the barn on the estate.
Laura: Yes.
Ryan: What are they called again? Laura? Some like midnight mid jewel.
Laura: It's like.
Ryan: It'S like something like that. Anyway, um, they do expressive performative contemporary theater.
Laura: Yes. And so when the helicopter housing Jonathan Groff comes down from the sky, they're dancing in a circle in these kind of tunics or some such thing.
Ryan: Shawls. Yeah. The shawls are quickly, uh, removed. And you've just got a circle of naked people surrounding this helicopter.
Laura: Yeah. And they're just dancing and yelling and having a wonderful time. Just totally naked, prancing about.
Ryan: Pretty much. I mean, what I've written down here is the helicopter arrives, welcomed by the theater troupe, waving naked performance theater. Uh, people.
Laura: I mean, to be fair, I think it was probably a great introduction or welcome for Jonathan Groff, who's heading off this festival. He goes, oh, rad. Or Groovy.
Ryan: He's of well, tubular. He welcomes it because it's just an expression of humanity and love.
Laura: Peace and love.
Ryan: Yeah. This is the 60s. They're putting flowers and guns and stuff like that. And free love and all this sex and the drugs that you can have. Crazy.
Laura: Yeah. The town is very upset that they've decided to hold the show there.
Ryan: Yeah. Uh, bring this gavel of hippies into their town, they're going to loot and rape their farm animals.
Laura: Yeah, that's what they said.
Ryan: That's exactly.
Laura: Rob our town by day and rape our cattle by night.
Ryan: And I go, why would they do that? Yeah.
Laura: Who do they think these people are?
Ryan: Well, you know what that was, guys? Projection. Yeah, exactly. Uh, fucking Farmer Dave. He's sticking his dong and a poor donkey.
Laura: We don't need to do that to the donkeys again. All right. We don't need to bring donkeys.
Ryan: We don't need another year.
Laura: Nothing happens to any animals in a bad way.
Ryan: All the animals no, you don't really see well, you don't really see a lot of animals, really.
Laura: A bunch of cows and a horse and a dog.
Ryan: There's a wee dog. Yeah, there is a little dog. You don't see him very much.
Laura: Actually, weirdly enough, our dog approved of this film. I think he was asleep hard enough to where he didn't notice all the animals. So this is a dog approved film.
Ryan: It was testament to this film's, uh, engagement.
Laura: The dog's just passed the dog just.
Ryan: Kind of passed out. Yes.
Laura: I think I'm just going to jump to the next penis scene, which is honestly 40 minutes after that one. Yes, about so it's an hour nine and 21 seconds.
Ryan: Is this the same one that we're both thinking of here?
Laura: I'm skipping over a lee shriver bit.
Ryan: Yes. Yeah. I wondered that. Um wondered what you were trying to here's the thing.
Laura: I didn't bring it up because it's not an actual penis. It's an outline in spanx.
Laura: But when we meet Lee Schreiber for the first time, what is his ah do you remember his character's name? Um, her name is, um, like Wilma, something like that.
Ryan: Yeah. Maybe he's playing a trans man or trans woman. Sorry. Yes. Yeah, he's playing trans. Pretty much. Yeah. Ah, he's a big beefy boy wearing yeah.
Laura: No, he's so big.
Ryan: He's like post saber tooth. He's just, like, massive.
Laura: He's gorgeous. And he's got this beautiful wig on. And right after X Men Origins So he is like he's never been so big.
Ryan: Where is origins? The one with Ryan Reynolds. Yes, Wade's. Right. Okay. Yeah, it's that one.
Laura: It's that one.
Ryan: He's got the bone claws. He pops his bone claws. Okay.
Laura: We should watch that.
Ryan: No, um, we shouldn't watch it. It's so bad.
Laura: So yeah, it's right after that. And yeah. A massive man wearing the most delicate dress. And I liked it. I think he looked great.
Ryan: Yeah, I think he so he kind.
Laura: Of comes around to let Demetri Martin know that he's friends with some of his friends from New York from the riots. And he's there if he wants protection. So that was essentially it, right?
Ryan: Pretty much, yeah. Uh, didn't get too involved.
Laura: He pulls up his beautiful dress and shows him a gun. And then he goes, well, that's nothing compared to what I'm packing up here. And then pulls a dress up further.
Ryan: And you see the outline of his gigantic nuts. Well, I thought it was another gun.
Laura: No, right.
Ryan: I thought it was just another gun. He's, like, packing an even bigger gun.
Laura: That was an outline of a winger.
Ryan: Well, he definitely looked like he had gigantic balls. Like huge nuts.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: They're so big.
Laura: It keeps everything in place.
Ryan: Yeah, they're so big. It looks like one gigantic ball.
Laura: It's happening. It's all happening up there.
Ryan: It's the 60s, man. It's happening. Sometimes your two balls end up becoming one gigantic ball.
Laura: It's all squished.
Ryan: Yeah, it looked like a wrinkly skin melon.
Laura: That's probably what that means. It's just like he's wearing pantyhose. I don't know what to say about it. Have you ever seen in real life, a man wearing pantyhose and then their junks all squished in?
Ryan: Yeah, I've done that before.
Laura: Have you?
Ryan: Yeah, worn pantyhose. I mean, I've got those long johns and stuff that I wear. They leave nothing to the imagination.
Laura: True. But that's different than a pair of nude.
Ryan: Yeah. I think the last time I wore tights, let's say, was I was in primary school and I was in a play, and I played a little blue bird, and I had to make my own mask and get my clothing. It had to all be blue. And, uh, I remember my tights. They were definitely blue as well. I remember being on that stage in primary school. I remember the school halls and all that sort of thing as well.
Laura: That's adorable.
Ryan: The thing is, obviously I'm a small child. I remember going to my old primary school to vote, and you would see how small some of those chairs were. Obviously, I must have been a tiny boy.
Laura: That makes sense. As a young man. I grew I grew up.
Ryan: Yeah. There are some people out there that don't grow. But that's okay too.
Laura: Yeah, that's okay.
Ryan: Yeah, that's fine.
Laura: So I'm going to bring up the next, uh, Dixie in an hour, nine minutes and 21 seconds. Okay. So we're involved again with the Farmhouse Art dance performance troupe.
Ryan: Yeah. A band called Hairy Pretzel is played. It's a bunch of, like, little hairy kids. Yeah. They call themselves the Hairy Pretzel.
Laura: Wonderful.
Ryan: And I'm like, m. That's fine. I don't know. It's a little close to something else that's hairy.
Laura: Okay.
Ryan: The Pretzel. Yeah. I don't know.
Laura: Cool. So I believe that they're performing kind of for the townspeople as almost a peace offering sort of way. And I think is this the same time they're doing a press conference? Doesn't matter.
Ryan: Well, there's no rain at this point. I think it's just they coincide.
Laura: This is before the Woodstock happens, because the Woodstock only happens the very yes, yes. So you don't you can fall asleep.
Ryan: No, I don't think so. I'm sorry. You were explaining the film at length. I was, like, starting to get flashback falling asleep.
Ryan: Emil ah.
Laura: Hirsch's penis. Okay. How about that? Whoa.
Ryan: Emile Hirsch. Yeah. Well, I have issues with just his character in don't. I don't like it.
Laura: Uh, no, because he's a Vietnam veteran.
Ryan: Just like this crazy Vietnam guy who.
Laura: Seems to be having PTSD and flashbacks, but he also isn't.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: So it's strange because he'll be off in the woods and acting as though he's reenacting times that he had in the war, but he's not either. He's pretending.
Ryan: I don't don't don't know. I don't know either.
Laura: Very kind of stereotypical, like, oh, um, I'm crazy. I'm coming back from Vietnam. Which is not cool.
Ryan: I mean, that's definitely something portrayal it's definitely something that actually happened. This feels to me a little bit tropey and a little bit short sighted.
Laura: Yeah. It's very strange. His character, I don't like it either.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: But not a fan. Um, during the scene, you have the performance troop and they do their thing again, where they get all of their clothes off and everyone's on stage. And then everyone's screaming and running around. And Emil Hirsch gets all excited and.
Ryan: Takes some Russian classics on the stage clothes as well.
Laura: Uh, everyone's nude.
Ryan: Yeah. So what I'd written down was, uh, Emil Hirsch goes, uh, he's with theater troupe on stage, um, to a gopping, appalled audience. Because it's all the village. The Village People. The village people are in the audience. Like, everyone from the town has come down to see them, basically. But not like them came to see the bands and stuff and whatever his name is. Uh, the guy who plays John Boy Walton from that classic show, he's also in this movie from it. He's from it?
Laura: Yeah. He's in the original it probably I.
Ryan: Remember him as John Boy Walton. And also wait, who is John Boy Walton? John Boy Walton. He's like john Boy. John Boy. He's the oldest the oldest Matt from the Aye from probably one of your only other good exports. The Waltons.
Laura: No, I'm not familiar, but I did see it. And he is the older one in.
Ryan: It, the original TV version one with Tim Curry. Well, he's also the lead in the 70s version of All Quiet on the Western Front, which I haven't seen any of those in school. Well, I think there's only three, obviously, including the new new one, the one from the then there's the 30s version as well. Anyway, okay.
Laura: There's a really sexy kiss between Dimitri Martin and, uh, a hot builder.
Ryan: Yeah. Well, yeah. This is where it obviously goes a little bit more on the nose with these homosexuality. But the thing is, you wouldn't know he was gay for the most part because of I guess because of all of the welcomeness of the shenanigans. Because it's all like peace and love is like women are kissing each other. Women are kissing the men and all kind of dancing. And everyone has a good time. Necessarily. Him kissing this man or being kissed by this man does not necessarily mean that he's like I'd immediately think he was gay. No, I would honestly have said I watched the whole movie and I didn't think he was gay, to be honest.
Laura: No, there's just little hints you can see here and there. I think Liev Shriver says something as well. And whatever. Who cares?
Ryan: Yeah. I mean, that's fine. It's kind of like all good. Well, yeah, it's nothing, really.
Laura: Yeah, I know I'm saying that now, but I do need to remember that in the 60s it was very hard, so it was much harder. So I, uh, could see it being tough. Yeah, I'm sure it's tough now. Gosh isn't even the last penis scene, so it happens again, an hour 16 and 45 while the show has started, so you can hear the show that has started. But there's all of these people in a lake and they're just chilling and vibing.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: They're just relaxing.
Ryan: Yeah. Uh, it's a whole nice time.
Laura: Yeah. And it's really quiet, really calm, really chill. And, uh, there's a bunch of naked people out there. Yeah. Out behind the motel where everyone's staying.
Ryan: Yes. Pretty much. Um, yeah, I guess that's the nice thing about this movie. And it's the only thing that I think is quite nice is just kind of how liberating I think they're able to capture what's going on here. Um, because we're not talking about like a bad lieutenant kind of level of, uh, drug detail. Um, no, but you are getting what you feel is a fairly authentic experience, I guess, from that perspective. And yeah.
Ryan: Nothing really gets held back here. Like folk are naked.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: And there's a lot of it. There's just an awful lot of people getting naked in this film, especially this.
Laura: Part, because it's incredibly natural in a way. And it's just casual. Casual penis, casual boobs.
Ryan: There's a lot of casual nudity in this movie.
Laura: This is the most natural part because the other ones were more performance based.
Ryan: Pretty much.
Laura: Yeah. Uh, but in terms of what they're trying to do, it's like a shock value. Whoa, there's genitals everywhere but this one. There's just people just in a lake and they're washing up and having to swim and just enjoying life. Yeah.
Ryan: There's an authenticity to it. These people aren't wearing their bathing suits because they don't need to.
Laura: They probably didn't bring any.
Ryan: Probably not. No, probably not. I'm not going to wear their underpants. You can't go around having a music festival of wet undies. You're going to chafe.
Laura: So James Shamu told, uh, Shamu reporters at Cannes that the biggest challenge in casting extras for the film was to find people, quote, who were not working out all the time and who still had pubic hair, end quote.
Ryan: Oh, he wanted them all natural.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: Well, that makes sense. Not everyone's sexy. Or at least hold on, let me take that.
Laura: Brazilian waxes.
Ryan: Um, no, I would say well, there's the image that people would, uh, refer to as, say, like the perfect specimen of humankind. Like the ones that go to the gym. And they all either say I mean, if you look on social media now, you think everybody is fit and trim and they look fantastic all the time. That's not what it was like back in the day.
Laura: It's not what it's like now either. People are people no, that's true.
Ryan: Life expectancy has risen though. So obviously, um, there is that. Um, but yeah, it's not going to be the people who go to the gym five times a week. That's not going to happen.
Laura: No. Um, I think the last one, I'll just throw it out. There is a guy climbing over a fence to get into the Woodstock area. Uh, near the toilets.
Ryan: Yeah. We see these toilets relatively quite often. Or at least I saw the toilets at least three or four times during the course of the movie because they repeat a shot like three or four times. Like it's tracking across the toilet stalls. The port of Poise, let's call them that. And that happens like three or four times maybe just to reference the fact that he's gotten back to that place like three or four times.
Laura: Well, it's right where kind of their offices were. Um, because we get to see all of the administrative portions of Woodstock and not the Woodstock.
Ryan: Yeah. There's a lot of paperwork obviously being filed. Um, little yeah. Like I said. Yeah. It's just a little bit extraneous.
Laura: You get to see Emil de Staunton and Henry Goodman let loose the parents when after a night out at Woodstock adjacent where Demetri Martin was or whatever, he comes back home and he's eating breakfast with his parents. And Lee Shriver comes in and asks if they want any brownies. And he says they're very special brownies. And he, no, no, I'm good. Because he dropped acid with Paul Dano's toenails. So he's not down with having any more drugs right now. And Emel de Stotton gets pissed off because she's like, oh, uh, my he he gets rid of dessert without even asking his own mother.
Ryan: Are we going to talk about Vera Drake's accent in this film as well?
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: Minute she started talking, I was just like, oh, what a choice.
Laura: Some of them are like, oh, they're very New York. And then others have this kind of Russian vibe. Well, she has that.
Ryan: She does. But she's kind of got like this weird balance where it's like she has to pretend to be at least a little bit from New York. So it kind of comes out a little bit. But she's also not American in real life.
Laura: No, she's English.
Ryan: She's English.
Laura: The husband. But knowing her, knowing Emel Desanton, you know, she knows exactly what she's doing. I'm sure it's purely authentic.
Ryan: Yeah, I hope so. I hope so. Again, it's just an accent.
Laura: So, uh, it's always a little weird.
Ryan: It's not Ray Winston levels of fucking accents, you know what I mean, where he can't get the Londoner out of body. Well, his body just starts to convulse and just reject it like it's a false kidney. It will not let him, um, not be the Londoner even though he's meant to be. Like, I don't know, Indiana Jones's friend from the war days. Quote unquote.
Laura: Um, well, I want to bring it back to the brownies really quick before I have something else to say.
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: So Leif Shriver offers them brownies, and then he ends up giving brownies to the parents. Right. And I don't know if anyone I've never had special brownies wank in my life. But I'm saying anyone that's ever had edibles if anyone's ever made special brownies before, you know you don't eat a whole brownie. Right? Like, that's pretty common knowledge. Um, at least if you've done it once, you know, you don't eat a.
Ryan: Whole brownie, or at least you would take it slowly.
Laura: So Demetri Martin asks, how many brownies did you give them? Two. And Lee Schreiber says four each.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: I tell you what, I would cry like, I don't know what I would do. And I've had a moment. I remember specifically when I went to see X Men, um apocalypse.
Ryan: Well, everyone had the same feeling. That's not what you're referring to. Probably.
Laura: Um, I don't know what it was that I ate, but my feet were sweating profusely. At least, I think. And I know that everyone in theater could hear me breathing. And I only had a tiny bit. So if you have four brownies, you probably descend into Hell, right?
Ryan: Okay.
Laura: Physically and mentally and emotionally, you're in.
Ryan: Oh, what was that I was watching recently? I think it was John Oliver. And they were talking about the effects of LSD, uh, as a yes. Yeah.
Laura: And they were talking about in people who have had a lot of trauma.
Ryan: Yeah. So pretty much for, like, people who've maybe been to war, and they want to be able to forget some of the things that they've seen. They used LSD as a therapeutic. Um, so they would put them on, uh, an LSD trip, almost kind of in a controlled manner. But then again, LSD is also quite unpredictable. You're not really, um, 100% sure how your trip is going to go. And for the most part, people had blissful trips, and everything was nice. And then it helped them, obviously, in the long run, to basically unlock parts of their brain so that they could deal with the trauma. But I remember seeing in the episode, there was a term used by the doctor that referred to some of the trips potentially being on the Hell gauge or like the Hell spectrum or something. They're like hell. Trips.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: And I can't remember the term they used because I think I wrote it down somewhere because I thought, that's fucking genius. But, uh, I need to look it up to see what it is. But yeah, that was obviously something. There was like, holy shit. That's like, well, what if happened? That happened to you when you were with Paul Dano in the van.
Laura: I know. Well, they had to keep calming him down and know, you're good, you're good, you're safe. And, uh, I don't know, it's just very scary. I know that marijuana can't kill you, but you can't OD on it. But I mean, you can go too far. Like, you could go too deep down that rabbit hole and four brownies. You would not be dancing on the porch in the rain with your husband.
Ryan: Yeah. I'm surprised none of them suffered a whitey.
Laura: And then it was what is a whitey?
Ryan: A white is when you've had too much drugs and, uh, your face goes all pale and then you vomit.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: You have a little bit of a white.
Laura: Absolutely. That's what would have happened to them. They would not have been dancing and having the time of their life. It would have been a life changing experience in the fact that they would have gone and done a whitey.
Ryan: We weren't yes. Well, that's for all my friends back home, for all of us that have ever whited in our lives.
Laura: Shout out to you.
Ryan: Shout out to you. And if you're currently whiting, you're going to be okay.
Laura: You'll be fine.
Ryan: You'll be all right.
Laura: You'll make it through.
Ryan: You'll be good.
Laura: So the film just do it again. Do you mind if I just get to the end?
Ryan: I think so. Did we do all of the dick scenes there's the guy climbing over the fence.
Laura: I mentioned it like, 15 minutes ago.
Ryan: Um, near the Port of Pipeline. Yeah. Well, there's a lot to keep up with. Um yeah.
Ryan: What happens at the end of the movie?
Laura: So Jonathan Groff rides up on a horse, and I thought that was a pretty big highlight for me. Uh, I think he's great. I keep talking about Jonathan Groff. You guys know who he is. He was in mindhunter.
Ryan: That's probably his most m well, maybe for you. His most famous it's his most famous. I think that's where people initially saw him on a wider scale.
Laura: But he was in Hamilton. He was the king.
Ryan: Yes. He's on the stage. He's in Hamilton, obviously. The Disney recorded version. Obviously.
Laura: I think that's the original Broadway cast from what understand.
Ryan: Okay. Okay. Well, either way and he's also in The Matrix Returns or whatever it was called. Resurrections matrix returns.
Laura: I prefer the very newest.
Ryan: The newest, yes. I, uh, had the Kazoo version of the Rage Against the Machine track in the credits. Although we already know who that person is. And she did that. She took it like a giant piss on stage or something into like, a fan's face. Can't remember what her name is now.
Laura: Wow.
Ryan: Yeah. Remember there's that Kazoo version of, uh uh wake up, I think. No, the, uh, end of the credits. And we looked up the performer of that song, and I think there's a story about her pissing in a fan's mouth or something.
Laura: I remember that video. I do remember that video.
Ryan: Something of that ilk. I think so.
Laura: Jonathan Groff, when he rides up on that horse, he's telling, you know, come look him up in San Francisco. They're putting together a, ah, really big free concert. And it would be great for him to be involved. But that concert he's referencing is an actual concert called the, um, altamont Speedway Free Festival. Have you heard of this? Do you know this festival I'm talking about?
Ryan: Well, the way he says it, he says it as if it's a sequel to it's going to be a movie.
Laura: Yeah. No, that's they okay.
Ryan: It's like James Bond will return in yeah, they did.
Laura: The altima was going to be like so, you know, the Rolling Stones were there. Um, like Grateful Dead was involved. Ah. Who else was there? Jefferson Airplane.
Ryan: Okay. Everyone that was pretty much at Woodstock because that's pretty much the same list they cited. Were they were the Stones at Woodstock?
Laura: I don't think so.
Ryan: Well, what was that documentary of, um, helter Skelter, that Maisel's brothers movie about that Rolling Stones concert. And then the Hell's Angels are there.
Laura: And then they get that is this concert that I'm talking about.
Ryan: Oh, and the Hells Angels are there and they stab that person and kill them.
Laura: So this is what people consider the end of the hippie era. Was this concert, the Altamont, uh, free concert? Because I think four people died and the Hell's Angels were hired as security and they paid them in beer. And obviously that didn't go well. And yeah. Uh, several people died.
Ryan: Yeah. Okay. Well, this is obviously the one that I know the story of. Um, from the documentary.
Laura: Yeah. Uh, one of the Hell's Angels members said, we don't police things. We're not a security force. We go to concerts, enjoy ourselves and have fun. Um, we can give people directions and stuff. But.
Ryan: I would love a member of the Hells Angels to give me directions. That would be fantastic.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: So they got Hells Angels voice on my ways app.
Laura: But some people, like Jefferson Airplane and I believe the Grateful Dead had used members of the Hell's Angels in order to provide security. Of course.
Ryan: Yeah, of course they have.
Laura: It just didn't go well for that concert.
Ryan: No.
Laura: Uh, it was a disaster.
Ryan: Yeah. No, again with the certainly into the well, the thing is, the Hells Angels are also featured prominently in B movies and stuff like that. Uh, was it Peter Fonda? Peter Fonda was in a bunch of movies about like the Hells Angel, hells Angels on Wheels, like those Roger Corman B movies that he was in in the late 60s.
Laura: Hunter S. Thompson's Hells Angels book is incredible as well.
Ryan: Yeah. I think it's ultimately quite fascinating.
Ryan: I think obviously, ultimately, um, we start talking about is it like, 1% are gangs and stuff like that scary? Like some of the stuff that you need to do in order to, uh well, I think about season one of True Detective because that's like a one percenter gang m. They're like dealing drugs with cartels and stuff in Mexico and things like that. And the drug sequences in True Detective Season One are better than the ones in this movie.
Laura: I don't sleep. I just dream.
Ryan: Time is a flat circle, everybody.
Laura: So this film didn't win any awards. It had a $30 million production budget and it only grossed about ten just under 10 million worldwide.
Ryan: Yeah.
Laura: So, uh, not good.
Ryan: It was probably reamed by critics and stuff as well. Like you say, I think because it's a film about Woodstock, I can understand why there's no music in it and there's no kind of other representation, certainly because they're writing it from the perspective of this man. But it feels criminal that it's as dull as it is. It's like what First Man did to space films. It made space boring.
Laura: I fell asleep during that.
Ryan: Yeah. It's like looking out of a porthole and seeing nothing but, like blackness. And you're like, that's space.
Laura: Yeah. I'm going to go take a nap.
Ryan: You're like, woofed. Yeah.
Laura: So I think I'm going to start with my ratings and so for visibility and context for this film.
Ryan: Are we doing them all together? Like all of these moments all put together? I think it's five yeah. For this, right?
Laura: Say that again.
Ryan: There's five dick moments in this film.
Laura: Yeah. At least. I don't know. I'm just doing the whole thing. But to be fair, through each scene, for the most part, to me, it's five very, very casual nudity. And I do think it lends to the time as well. Um, and the situation.
Ryan: Yeah. It's got a live, laugh, love feel about it.
Laura: Live, laugh, peace.
Ryan: Love, live, laugh, love, laugh, live.
Laura: Ah. So, yeah, I'm going to go on a five with that. And I think that it was I don't know, I think it worked. It was never surprising. It just worked its way in. And you go, oh, okay.
Ryan: Yeah. It fit kind of what they were doing and the aesthetic of the whole thing. Yeah. I would probably agree with you. Maybe say closer to a four and stuff. It's all fine. I mean, it helps add to the fact I mean, this film was R rated eventually, right? Um, yes. But yeah, to me, there's a huge.
Laura: Lack of profanity as well. So I don't know, if they had to specifically, they go, maybe cut down on the profanity and the leather daddies, and we'll let you keep your.
Ryan: I think again, I think the film's a little bit too bloated anyway. But yeah, I guess so. All the profanity tends to come from, uh, you know, as the quote, unquote, crazed Vietnam vet, when Dimitri Martin, right.
Laura: Before he takes that drop of acid, he goes, uh, what the.
Ryan: It'S like if, uh, the dad from Malcolm in the Middle decided he was going to take acid.
Laura: Yeah.
Ryan: You know, I mean, and then his inner monster comes. Out. The real Brian Cranston comes out.
Laura: Brian Cranston's. Awesome.
Ryan: Yeah, he's pretty great. Well, uh, he's good in those episodes of Seinfeld he's in.
Laura: Yeah. Thanks, um, for bringing up Seinfeld for me.
Ryan: Mhm. I mean, I think it's only like two episodes that I like where he.
Laura: Converted to Judaism so he could tell the jokes.
Ryan: It's not yet. You know what? Larry David did an okay job with that show. God, I must be fucked up.
Laura: Why am I know. Why are you doing this? God, I'm so excited.
Ryan: Well, yeah, don't get too excited.
Laura: Let's watch Seinfeld.
Ryan: Um, you wrap it up.
Laura: Let's watch Seinfeld.
Ryan: All right. Um, well, what about the ratings for the film?
Laura: I guess I rated the film two and a half on letterboxed. It is a boring film. I like everybody in this film, and I think everyone's doing a nice job. But you don't get enough of any one person to really kind of grow with them. No, I don't feel like Dimitri Martin did a whole lot of growing. I do like him. He told some really funny jokes and he's just a good person to see. I like Demetri Martin a lot, but.
Ryan: I don't like it's. Kind of like every performer was given their little slice of edible scenery and it was like an eating contest. And it was like, how quickly can you eat this man?
Laura: I mean, Eugene Levy, he's barely in the movie. He's so good.
Ryan: Yeah. He's in and out and you're like, oh, it's Eugene Levy. And then you never see him again.
Laura: Yeah. Jeffrey Dean Morgan. You're like, oh, amazing. Wow, look at him. Bye bye.
Ryan: And he's kind of just like cast off to the side. He plays, uh, Hirsch's, uh, father in the movie. Wait, who does, uh, um d morgan. Sorry. He plays his father, Emil Hirsch's actual father.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Ryan: In the movie, obviously, as the vet. He's like, yeah, Emil Hirsch is leo.
Laura: Schreiber could be in it more. But every time he's there, it's wonderful.
Ryan: Well, here's the thing. But then they use, uh, Emil Hirsch as like an emotional crutch as well, because it's know he went to Vietnam. It's like we should be feeling sorry for him because he went to Vietnam. And there's plenty of references of there's fathers, obviously, where they're like, oh, I've got one kid here, but one's in Vietnam. I wish he was here in this mud, all this sort of stuff. And it's like, all right, okay, we fucking get it. Say during the 60s, there's fucking Vietnam. Thank you.
Laura: There's like Holocaust joke references and kind of Vietnam joke things in there too.
Ryan: Yeah, there's a weird I guess this is why, I guess there's a fucking Swasti guy gets painted on the side of a house.
Laura: That was weird.
Ryan: And I'm sure members of the community that obviously are fucking Nazis who don't like Jews. And unfortunately, our family at the center of the story are Jewish?
Laura: I don't know. I think I kept asking you during the film, like, uh, why are people like this? Why do people don't like Jewish people? I don't understand. And I just think I don't understand hate in general. Why do people hate?
Ryan: Well, I think if you go, well, I was talking to you. I was just like, well, there's a very, very long, thousands of year history of the persecution of Jewish people going all the way back to even, like, Egyptian times.
Laura: People would be mean to other people.
Ryan: I know. Well, here's the thing. You're just like a gentle soul. You don't understand why people can be horrible to each other.
Laura: Like, people being mean. Yeah, I would imagine.
Ryan: Yeah. I mean, if you want to look up the persecution of Jews through history, there's plenty of cited examples, unfortunately.
Laura: I just want to know the origins and why people are mean. That's all.
Ryan: Either way. Yeah, there's swastikas and there's all sorts of horrible profanity being ushered towards this family. Uh, but yeah, there's certainly members of the community that don't like Jewish people. Um, very similar to what you still see today.
Laura: I still don't understand it, really.
Laura: Tell me your, um, rating for the film, please.
Ryan: Um, I gave it two.
Laura: Okay.
Ryan: Um, to quote one of the members of the theater troupe, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored.
Laura: Wow.
Ryan: I was pretty bored. And also, Danny Elfman did the fucking score to this movie. And I mean, I've no idea what he's contributed to this whatsoever. Um, I don't know what would have made it better. More split screens.
Laura: Yeah, definitely more split screens so I could get more film, uh, in my eyes than originally I had. Yeah, too much spread, too thin. The concept is cool, but I don't think it landed. And yeah, that's okay. So you can watch us if you want, if you want to complete the Lee-gacy I assume you've watched us if you're at the end of this episode. So sorry.
Ryan: Yeah. Uh, it's a shame. It's a shame. I think there's a good story to be told.
Laura: It's not the worst, honestly. We've watched worse stuff.
Ryan: There's that original Woodstock documentary, which is obviously of just the event in general. Um, that's probably worth watching more than this.
Laura: I think it's gimme. Shelter, by the way, is the Rolling Stones documentary.
Ryan: Oh, helter skelter. No, I think helter skelter is a different thing. Right? Oh, isn't that a fucking documentary about fucking like a cult Manson family fuck? Yeah, it is. Holy shit. Yeah. No, I am fucking Zonked.
Laura: All right, so, uh, thank you guys for, uh, joining in on the league Sea. And yeah, it's been an absolute pleasure.
Ryan: You didn't believe me when I said helter skelter.
Laura: No. Well, no, I knew it wasn't Helter.
Ryan: Skelter, but yeah, Give Me Shelter is actually a fantastic documentary. I think it's on, ah, HBO just now.
Laura: Oh, cool.
Ryan: Give me shelter. I've seen it before. I've seen it before. It's a really good documentary.
Laura: Well, we're going to go watch that. Uh, coming to you from White Lake, New York.
Ryan: Yeah, um, we're not actually there. Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. Monorail.
Laura: I've been Laura.
Ryan: I'm Ryan.
Laura: Okay, bye bye.
Ryan: I got another thing I wanted to say. Okay, just say something as if you were, like, trying to, um just say something like you were trying to introduce the episode, like you're trying to talk about it.
Laura: Okay, so we need to get back into this movie about taking Woodstock and wait.
Ryan: Do you smell that?
Laura: Bruce smells it. Uh, no, I don't smell it.
Ryan: Right. Do it again for me, please.
Laura: No. What's that smell? What is the smell?
Ryan: Smells like shit.
Laura: What?
Ryan: Oh, wait. It's Woodstock.
Laura: Oh, man.
Ryan: Yeah, see, look, if it had yeah, I don't know. I'm done. He eats grass.